Giving Yourself Permission to Start Over

S1, E8: In this episode of Let Me Walk You Out, Stephanie and Kyndall are talking about starting over, embracing change, and learning to trust yourself through life’s pivots.

From changing careers, transferring schools, moving cities, redefining your identity, and pursuing dreams that weren't part of the original plan, we reflect on the moments that forced us to let go of what felt familiar and step into something new. We talk about the signs that it's time to make a change, the fear of beginning again, and why so many of us stay in situations long after we've outgrown them.

The conversation explores the difference between pivoting and truly starting over, why your next chapter doesn't erase everything you've already built, and how every life transition leaves you with new skills, experiences, and confidence to carry forward.

This one is for you if you've been questioning your career, relationships, routines, or the version of yourself you've outgrown.

Leave a 🚦 in the comments if this episode resonated with you.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Resources mentioned during the episode:
The Magic of Thinking Big: The True Secret of Success by David J. Schwartz: https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Thinking-Big-Secret-Success/dp/0593713230

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Black-Owned Business of the Week: Convo Restaurant & Lounge

Vibe Check: Convo Restaurant & Lounge is a Black-owned restaurant and lounge just outside of Atlanta near the airport, offering happy hour specials, cocktails, hookah, and a relaxed atmosphere that's actually designed for conversation.

Location: Hapeville, GA

Support/Follow Convo: https://convoatl.com/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Pivoting is it's going to be necessary in life. Like there's gonna be times where we legit just have to pivot. It could be something as small as dang, my Chinese spot is not open. I gotta find something else for dinner. Like, you know, like yeah, but those are the real dead-day stitches. Exactly. Last year, those are all important. I wanted my cauliflower wings, and they didn't have them, so I had to get something else. But I ended up getting some nachos that was and they were fired. It was amazing. It works out. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 0:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Welcome back. Welcome back to another episode of Let Me Walk You Out, the podcast about alignment, ambition, navigating adulthood, and so, so, so, so much more. Okay, we are so excited to be here with you again today for another podcast episode. And uh, we're your host. My name is Stephanie. I'm Kendall, and let's get straight to it. So, yes, highs and lows, friends, highs and lows. I'll let you go first this time.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Okay, my high was going to the universe soul circus with you and Zion.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

And boy, was that a time.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Bro, my nervous system still needs some resetting after that. That was crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yeah, it was insane. And I don't know what I thought a circus was because to be honest, I've only been to the circus a handful of times, majority of that being when I was a kid. So I think I forgot that a lot of it is about stunts and daredevil and whoa, it's like some freaky stuff we're watching. Like I forgot about all that. Yeah, I just was thinking, wow, it's gonna be so much fun and excitement and dancing. And yeah, so there was that, of course, but there were also some crazy stunts that Stephanie and I were like holding on to each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Like we were like, I was at one point holding her hair, like how did we even get there?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Like, I was like, oh my god, we screaming louder than the kids. Louder than the kids, the kids unfazed, they recording with their iPad. We didn't see that. The girl was recording with her iPad, but they're just having fun. Meanwhile, we're genuinely like anxious and scared because I'm always just thinking, what could possibly go wrong here? And of course, it's gonna go wrong at my show. Of course, I'm gonna see somebody free fall from the ceiling. Like I just whenever I clap the loudest when they would get down, or like when they would when it would be over. I went, we did it. Hallelujah, thank you. We did it, guys. But it was so fun, and I love when I get to spend time with you all. So I just enjoyed our outing. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

I always love a good trio moment. Zion is like the third member of our trio.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Have we ever officially introduced Zion? I don't think so. That's insane because literally, like he is the third member of the trio. Yeah when you see us, you also see. So, and he's gonna be on this podcast as well. I'm already knowing. I know he's listening to this episode like ladies, ladies, ladies, gotta do my work, right? But no, shout out to Zion, he's such a cool guy. We met him at the same time as we were, we met each other at RCA. Um, so we all go way back.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

We've been tight like that ever since. Yeah. And so we've with Zion too, we've all been spread out, honestly. We've like all made our mini trips, like, okay, we're all going to here, we're all going to LA, we're all going to DC.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Like Zion is that spontaneous friend. Like he's never home. If you check his location, he's literally anywhere else in the world but home. Unless it might be like 5 a.m. Yeah. You know, I'm on a layover, he's going home, walk his dog, head back out. Like, but he's uh definitely someone that will come up a lot more often because we literally are we see him so often. Yeah. And he's again, we're we're a trio. Yeah. So we're a package deal. We're a package deal, so he's always around.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

But shout out to Zion. Shout out to Zion, and he's the one who told us to go to Universal Soul Circus anyway. So the only reason we were there was because of him. Yeah. Yeah. And he's recording us screaming, just laughing at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

I know, like, aren't you a way that we could just like show the video? Because I don't think you guys are properly comprehending like we're genuinely terrified.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

It was like, are y'all okay? Yeah. And we were like the only people there, first of all, without any sort of kids. Yeah, so it's like y'all just totally signed yourselves up to come be scared and be scared and scream at the top of your lungs like a child. It's crazy, but right. Like we could have brought the nieces and nephews, something, a little sister, but no, we went 25, 20, 24, and sat through that. But yeah, it was fun. I enjoyed it. Yeah. And my hive was that I went to dinner this week with some of my friends from high school, very last minute, but it was super nice to be able to catch up with them. It's always such a good time to see them just because of how far we've all come. And uh, I think I mentioned before that it was a boarding school. So the fact that we're all kind of living in the same city because me and one other person are from here, but um the other girl, she's not from here. She just happened to be living in Atlanta for the time being. So it's just nice to be able to catch up with them, to see them, to talk to them. They literally make my heart so warm because it just makes me happy to see us evolving and just the character arts like continuously developing and you know, talk about real life and not just high school. So that was fun.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

I love that. Okay, girl. My low this week, I would say is you know, when you know everything that you need to be doing to feel like that girl, like you have a good definition in your mind when I do these things, I feel like I'm on it. I would say I'm not on it. And it's okay. You were telling me before we started filming, like, girl, you just moved, you're going through a transition. Like, take your time, but you know, you know me. Like, I like to just have I like to hit the ground running with some things, and it's not even that I want it to be perfect, but I just know, okay, when I'm in the gym, I'm that girl. Like, even if it's once or twice out of the week, if that's what I could do that week. Like, I just know when I'm genuinely doing my best. Um, and same thing at work, same thing in my personal life, like in every aspect. I just know what personally best was that week, even if it doesn't look 100% perfect. And it's just been harder to do lately. And I don't want another week like it. You know, I'm just ready to make myself proud because I'm there's so much excitement right now in the air, and there's so much momentum that I don't want to miss. And you know, there's there's always like there's always an opportunity somewhere, and there's always the the time is always right when you make it right, but there is something to be said about you won't get time back either. Like there are certain things where you needed to have been ready to act, and I think we spent so long in the winter time like building and plotting, and this is the time now to just be doing. And I know I just had a transition, but I don't want to spend too long in that stage when this is supposed to be my execution stage. Yeah, so yeah, it's not even a true low, it's just a assessment of like where I'm at in life right now and opportunity, and I'm just peeping, like, okay, you know, if you're not feeling like that girl, it's because you haven't kept a lot of the promises that you've made to yourself. Is it understandable why I haven't? Yeah, sure. But also, you know, I'm a lot more settled in my place now. I just am ready to just fully capitalize on like all these things that I said I wanted to do when I moved out. What?

SPEAKER_00 7:53

I'm like, girl, I just like settled. Like, you still gotta put some of the furniture together. I thought I'm more settled, but I'm saying, like, you're seven degrees because right, I had my dad coming over later to like literally build furniture.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Like, I don't even have my TV on the wall. I it's okay. It's coming together though. Like, it is coming together, it's coming together. I I see what you mean. Now you're more subtle than you were last week. I'm for sure more subtle than I was last week. Um I yeah, it's I do have to just let go of that need to always just be like in a routine. Yeah, like I feel like my low every single week at this point is something about my routine. It's like, okay, okay, okay, but I don't mean to be repetitive, but no, I understand that has been the low genuinely because I was telling you, like, even to come film here, there's I like to just have time to okay, let me make sure that all my clothes are laid out the night before, like that I have my topics together, that I'm I know what I'm doing. Like, you don't ever want to just jump up and just start the day and feeling like you're reacting to everything happening versus I proactively plan for this, and every single day has felt like I have responsibilities to keep doing on top of that, unboxing my apartment. So when does it all get done? Yeah, it's because I'm up. I was up one morning at or one night morning until like four o'clock, just making sure the closet was done because I was sick of digging around in boxes for clothes, so that was important, but then the next day I'm jumping up at like 8 45 in the morning. Right, my job starts at nine. Let me just get this crust out of my eyes so I can do it. That's not the way I like to live. So yeah, it's like I just want to be out of that really badly. But I think anyone who's ever moved anywhere, yeah, they can understand that that is just what it is for a little bit. But I personally would like to like reduce that down to like one solid week and then move on.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

But you know, give yourself until your move-in date next month. Like moved on the 15th, give yourself a month, like the next 15th, then to have it all together. I can see that. Not like not have it all together, but be in a better place. But you know, like I think we underestimate transitions and adjustments and change sometimes. Like, we think, okay, we're gonna just it's cool because it's the same state, it's only a couple minutes away from where I used to live. But like, no, like it's an energy shift, it's a space shift, energy shift, it's a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

So many things that I'm getting used to. Yeah, and yeah, it's when I have a quiet moment to myself, I'm looking around like I where am I? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

And I'm getting used to my neighborhood, like I'm just like, oh, you wake up and you're like, wait, where am I? Yeah, so it's a little off-putting at first. That's exactly how it's been, yeah, sure. But yeah, just I'm about a couple more weeks a little in that transition time, I guess. And then we'll circle back with you and see how you're doing. Okay. That sounds like a plan, too. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Now, my low is like the same as my high, low-key, because the only reason that we met up to get dinner is because my friend is moving. I'm so sad. She's been a rock star. Her name is Madison, she's amazing. Yeah, she's moving, but we're so excited for her. Like, this is definitely the next step in her chapter of life. But I'm sad because I really enjoyed having her here in Atlanta. She always had the best freaking restaurant recommendations. Like, Fudo is because of her. Like, she Madison. No, Madison, like you were good in my book. She changed my life, changed Steph's life. Literally, I told her, I said, we've been back to Fodo. I've been back to Fodo like at least three times since we went. And she was like, Oh my gosh, yes, I can understand why. So I'm gonna get her list of like all the restaurants that she's been to. She's um the one who put me onto the belly app, so I definitely be on her belly. The belly app is like a place where you can go and rank the restaurants that you've been to. It's like similar to Instagram, but just for food and restaurants. And she put me onto that app, and I'd be stalking her belly when I'm trying to figure out what I want to eat because you know you know she got good taste, exactly. So yeah, that was a bit of a low because I'm just so sad to see her go. But I know that she'll be back because she still has family that lives here too, and then I'll be in Raleigh, and that's where she's from, and so yeah. Yeah, okay. No, we'll cross paths again. Yeah, it's not it's not forever, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna miss you, Madison. I'm gonna miss you so much. But yeah, so yeah, I guess that ties in low. And that's everything. Okay. Well, well, moving on to our black business. Yeah. Uh so if you don't know, every week we highlight a black business that is either local, online, or a friend of a friend or friend, or whatever. You know what I'm saying? So if you have a black owned business that you would like to shout out, definitely check out our black business spotlight request form, which is in the description below. But this week's black business is Convo Restaurant and Lounge. So this is an actual restaurant. I think this is our first restaurant shout-out. No, endable, technically. Yeah, but this one's like more of a sit-in. Exactly. Exactly. So Convo Restaurant and Lounge is located in Hateville, which is uh on closer towards the airport, but it's still at a really good location. Parking is free, okay? Parking is free. I'm gonna say that one more time for my Atlanta people. Parking is free, okay? And they've even valet for free. You could tip them, but you they valet for free. So I love it, you know. So Convo is super cool. Um, they have a really good happy hour, and you know it's Atlanta, so you know they got hookah. Yeah. I'm gonna just say right there for the people listening, wondering, just asking that question in their head, yes, they have hookah. They got happy hour drink specials. It's like, I don't think we paid more than $10 for our drinks during happy hour.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

And our so nice and attentive because she made sure to come back before it was over. Yeah, like get our orders.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Before happy hour ended, she came and she double checked, like, do you guys want anything else before happy hour is over? I want to make sure you get that. She sure did. And she sure did exactly like one more round, one more round. So, yeah, Convo Restaurant Lounge is like the perfect place for like if we once again, Zion, Kendall, and I were all there, we were able to talk and actually hear each other. That's a really big thing about lounges in Atlanta. Like, y'all know the music is just so loud sometimes. Like, why did I come here if I can't actually hear you talk? So I think the name Convo feeds into the essence of the restaurant because it just helps, you know, set the vibe. Yes, they have music going, but it's literally a vibe where you can still chit-chat and just chill, have a drink, have some hookah, have a bite to eat, and the food is really good as well. And so it's just overall a really good vibe. So we definitely recommend you check it out with your friends, with your homegirls, homeboys, whoever. And they do accept reservations, they do large parties as well. They have a really nice outdoor space. So if you ever want to throw an event there, you also could do that too. And yeah, I've been there a couple times now and I've I haven't been disappointed. So awesome. Shout out to Combo. Shout out to Combo. We had lots of good combos.

SPEAKER_01 15:11

All right, girl, I guess we can just head on into our topic of the week. Head on into our topic of the week. Um, and last episode we talked a lot about hustle culture, specifically in our 20s, but just the culture overall. But just what we felt about hustle culture, what it means to us, where we sit in it, and how we deal with are we ambitious or are we overworking ourselves? Like we talked all things hustle culture. But we wanted to use this episode to talk about giving yourself permission to start over. And when you know when it's time to start over or when it's time to make a life change, how what are the signs? Like, do you just feel it, or is there a sign where you, you know, maybe like the universe is telling you something? And then how do you even go about making doing that? Yeah, because it's always so much easier in your mind than when you actually want to do it. Then you think about everything you're afraid of. What are you what are you afraid of losing because you've already invested so much time in it? Or what are you afraid? Are you afraid of judgment? Are you afraid of failing? There's so much to be afraid of that sometimes people can remain stuck in something for far longer than they really truly wanted to, even when they knew it was time to make a change. So we wanted to use this episode to talk about just what we feel about that times that we feel like we've made a change in our lives and how we've navigated that.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Okay, let's talk about first, let's talk about times where we've had to make that change.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

And then that'll feed into everything else.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

Times where you had to make that change.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

I think I think you had a really good example. Oh, there's two really good examples. Okay. There's one in my younger adult years and then like my adult adult years. Yeah. Okay. So the first example that I'm thinking of is transferring. I feel like that was really scary because I had to literally start all over. Friends, everything. Like I had to start fresh on campus. Like it's like not like I knew too many people at Georgia State, but I also just didn't know anyone at West Georgia. So it was an entirely different vibe. So I think that is one example of when I've had to pivot and start over. And maybe we could go into maybe some of the signs that I felt like I needed to do that as well. Yeah. So when I was at Georgia State, it was it was cool for the first semester, and I felt like I was really doing my best to find my footing, especially just because it's my first semester in college. I'm super excited to be here. I worked really hard to get here. This might not have been a might not have been my school of choice, but I'm here now. So how can we make the best of this? And there was moments where I just was feeling genuinely unhappy. And I think that started to set in more during winter break going into my spring semester. And I started to feel dread going to class. Like I literally felt actual dread. And I pretty sure like we've talked about this before and setbacks, me having to make that transition and that pivot. There got to a point where I wouldn't go to school unless my little sister Ryan would come and wake me up. Cause at the time she was still in high school. So she was, you know, going to, you know, our local school in the county. And so she would wake me up because she could either catch the bus or somebody could drive her. And I was like, oh, I'll drive you. I mean, it's right up the street. But um, that was the driving factor that literally no penitentiary. That was the factor that got me out of bed every morning. Like I said, okay, I'll start driving you to school. I have no problem with that. But you have to wake me up because once I started getting up and driving her, I'm already out. The interstate's right there. I might as well just hop on the interstate and go to school myself. And I think another thing was the fact that I was a commuter student. I didn't live on campus at Georgia State. So that also just kind of felt negatively affected my experience. But when I was starting to feel that dread when it came to going to class, I knew that something was off because I had never really felt that way about school before. I genuinely like school, like I like education, I like feeling like I'm working towards something, I'm getting good grades, like that kind of stuff fulfilled me. But I literally lost all passion and motivation to do that. And so to have her have to wake me up, first of all, like I would set the alarm. Was I waking up to that alarm? No, because I just didn't care. But if I had to take her, I had a responsibility. And so yeah, we would she wake me up and we would go on our little Dunkin' run and get her some coffee, even though she's in high school, she don't need to be drinking no coffee. Now that I think about that, I'm like, girl, why was I giving you Dunkin' every morning? Like you got spoiled. I said, I know your friends be saying something about you coming to class and it's called. But yeah, that would literally be my motivation to get out of bed and to go to class was having to take her to school. And then that will get me on the road. And so that was the first sign, you know, just the dread. And I just felt like something kept telling me, something was whispering, like, this isn't the place for you, there's more for you. Like, explore your options, go somewhere else. And so I it was incredibly scary, but I just jumped and made that position, or that not that position, made that pivot and told my mom like all the things that I wanted to do. I told my dad, and my dad has always just been like, Well, if that's what you want to do, if that's what you can see yourself doing, then you better commit yourself to it. Just whatever you do, just make sure you're you're going for it. Don't have ask anything, literally. Yep. Excuse my French. I didn't know what other way to say that. No, that's the phrase. Don't just don't have to anything half-ass anything. You just gotta do it. Yeah. So that was like one of the first examples. And then my second example was my leaving my job and like feeling like the universe was telling me for a while, like there's more for you. Because I think the main thing is when I start to think, what more could I be doing? Whenever I'm feeling like I'm not doing enough, not in a negative way, because there's the negative way, you know, with achievement and everything, but there's also like I feel like I'm not using my skills to my fullest ability. Like, I'm feeling like there's still potential here, basically. I felt that way at Georgia State because it was so hard for me to get involved in anything. I am a social butterfly. Why am I not in any club on campus? That's a problem. And so that was bothering me. And then, same thing with work, it was like, I feel like there's more than I could be doing, I could be contributing more, and I just feel unfulfilled right now. What else could I be doing? And like whenever I start to think that way or feel that way, there's hard signs from the universe. One of the hardest signs about pivoting when it came to transferring was COVID. That happened, and literally, I'm not even going to school no more. All my classes are on. Line to me, that felt like the biggest blessing in disguise. I know it was a horrible thing that happened, but it meant relief for me because I didn't have to go to school anymore. And now I can literally pivot into the next chapter, chapter, and not have to say goodbye to everybody that I like didn't really want to say goodbye to anyway. You know, it's just like, okay, well, bye. I'm leaving, go into that school, bye. You know, and then with work, it wasn't as graceful of a pivot with COVID. It was more so like, all right, here's my two weeks, it's my last day. All right, like this is a little awkward because I've been here for a while. But, you know, it was it was good to hear. Like one of my managers sat me down and she was like, I understand, like you need to do more, and I see where you're coming from. You deserve more. I wish you the best. And like to hear that, to hear her say, like, I understand, because a lot of times when it comes to leaving and pivoting, people don't really get where you're coming from. Yeah, and just to hear her say that was really nice, and just to hear her like hear me out, like hear my reasoning and say, like, it had nothing to really do with you guys. It's just like I feel like I can do more. And just having her being like, Yeah, you can, and kind of supporting that decision. Yeah, so those are the two signs or the two experiences that I had, and a couple of the signs that are the universe was kind of telling me, uh, this is not really for you, and then the physical signs of just like my body, just like the dread that I was feeling, like the Sunday scaries, all that kind of stuff, and then actual people telling me, you know, there's that too. You know, when somebody verbalizes, it's time for you to go. But yeah, girl, that pivot was definitely necessary in both aspects. So I'm really glad that I took the leap and actually did that. But I won't say that it was an easy leap to take at all.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Yeah, because changes change no matter what. Even if you know this is what I need to be doing, it's not easy to do that, you know. Never know what could happen. But yeah, I'm just glad that you eventually did it. And it really does remind me, and something that you said about just not feeling like you're being pushed enough, or okay, I I know I'm capable of more than this. That's also been a sign for me in multiple aspects of my life where I just know internally this is not what I'm personally capable of. So why am I remaining here? And it's always funny because it just when I try to explain it to other people, they're like, Greg, you're doing great, like you're doing fine. For example, I had an internship at this like integrated communications agency, and it looked so nice. Yeah, but I just remember feeling like I was doing absolutely nothing. And every single time I was in my one-on-one with my manager, she was like, I was saying, I feel like I could be doing more. I feel like I'm I'm here. I don't think anyone really reaches out to me. And and she was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. And then she would give me people to reach out to to see if I could shadow their work. But even when I did that, it was still kind of a dead end. Like there was really nothing for them to pull me in on because you know, maybe they just didn't have the time to even like help me, or maybe there really was nothing that was appropriate for me to work on. And that wasn't somewhere I wanted to be. That wasn't an internship where I was like, I really hope I get a return offer. And if they were to have extended me one, I would have said no. Yeah, it was just like this naturally needs to end. Um, and is this even something that I really want to do? And there's some times where like the pivot just feels easy, like for example, that ending, that's natural. Okay, it ends and I don't have to like pick this back up. But in terms of just like true pivots, I think I'm just in that season right now. Yeah, I think that's I haven't, I was telling you like a while back, I just am not the biggest risk taker. Like my life is pretty much okay, she's doing what you know you would expect someone her age to be doing. She's in college. She's isolated, she's going to get her job because I value stability. But I'm realizing now that I don't there because life is structured in a way where every four years or so there is a major change in terms of where I go to school or the environment that I'm in. It was a natural moving of a city every now and then. It was a natural, okay, here's a new cast of characters for your life. Yeah. It was naturally like that. But now it's I'm more settled into just this is life, babes. Like if you want something, you have to go make it happen. There is no more uh someone else come uh you're not in a program that's guiding you towards something else. And I'm realizing I don't think I value stability enough to be like, I don't want to take any risk in my life. And I'm the type of person that I got, I've always envisioned having a nine to five because I value just having a study paycheck. I value knowing day in, day out what my role is gonna be and what time that I clock in and I clock out. But I didn't realize how limiting that was actually gonna feel in practice. And I've been realizing that over the last year, but I have been attached to the version of me that knew she was going to go to school, gonna get her degree, and gonna be a corporate baddie and just like strut in the office. I used to think I was gonna have on like six-inch heels and like the cutest outfits and outfits be cute, but I do not be having on heels every day, please. I thought that was sustainable, and no, it's not every single day, but you could put on a cute kitten here like this. They got options, you know. But I just thought that that was gonna be my career path, but nothing else. Because I was like, that's all I want to do. I just want to have that, and then I want to go home and I want to do me, and then eventually have a family, and then I would go home to my family. And I am now realizing I don't think that's as fulfilling as I thought it was gonna be, especially in corporate. Yeah, because corporate, so much of it just drains who you are as a person anyway. A lot of it feels so robotic and not really human. Like it's it can be a little suffocating sometimes because while I do love the work that I do in marketing, a lot of it I can't necessarily say I'm making real world impact, just helping a business make more money. Yeah. So it's not, it's not, it's not what I want my life's work to be. Yeah. And there's so many ways in which I can use my talents to do other things, which would then be me being a self-starter and doing that my on my own. But for whatever reason, I was just wrestling with that idea because I spent so long saying, I'm not really the type that wants to be an entrepreneur. I kind of just want this nine to five. I just want to climb the ladder. I just want to be that girl, like who just maybe sits it, not necessarily the C-suite, but just somewhere in like as an executive, and I'd be good with that. I I knew what like salary range sounded good to me. I was like, when I was a kid, it was like 100k. If I crack 100K, I'm living, I'm living. And then as I got older, I was like, wow, cool, like 200k, 300k a year. Like, I would obviously be so comfortable. And then imagine if I joined with someone who made that much too, then we would just basically be like, we could be making half a million and we could just be set. And that all sounded so good to me, but in practice, it's like, hmm, I kind of just think I could be doing more and it would be more rewarding in other aspects. I'm excited to explore all of that, but it did require me to let go of who I thought I was gonna be at this age and get ready to take a leap on myself, really. Because it's not even like I'm quitting my job to do something else. It's just that I'm putting myself out there and I'm allowing myself to be visible and seen and perceived as trying to do something else outside of my nine to five. And that can be intimidating because it's just new. It's something that I haven't done before. So I'm excited for this particular chapter, and I think that's why I'm so hard on myself about this whole transition because I I have this mindset and I know what I want to do now, and I don't like having a week where I feel like I'm not building toward that. You know, it's okay, but yeah, I'm just really, really excited for this chapter because I think this is truly the first time where I am doing something that necess wasn't necessarily laid out for me even when I was a kid, because everything up to this point so far has felt like, yeah, okay, like we knew you were gonna do that. You've been saying you wanted to do that, but I've never really talked about like having my own business and trying to do that, and that's just been something that naturally has come up in the last like six months. I'm like, hmm, I've never really talked about having my own podcast. And but then that's also been something that has come about in the next six months, and I'm just I'm just saying yes to more things that fill up my time outside of my normal role, and I'm really excited for that, like change in energy.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Yeah, that makes me reminds me actually of something that you said before, just you saying yes, and how powerful saying yes can be, especially when you are you specifically you were talking about when you were in like a season of being kind of stuck or in a rut, and how just saying yes to things can help get you out of that, but also how saying yes to things now, like when you're not necessarily in a rut, but you know you kind of want to pivot, you're not doing exactly what you want to do, but there's more out there basically. But just saying yes to different things and different opportunities because you never know where it could go, not necessarily because, oh, you're trying to find something and you need that out of desperation.

SPEAKER_01 31:07

It's more just saying yes out of curiosity, out of curiosity because I am very fulfilled in what I currently do now. It's not like I'm trying to jump shit because I really just hate my job, I hate the environment. It's more so at the end of all of it, I still feel something's missing. Yeah. What is that? Because I have always wanted to work in a creative space. I work in a very tech space right now. Love it because it's kind of involved in a creative and like a creative corporation. We're housed under them. So I get to be involved in a lot of really cool events that we have at work. But at the end of the day, I'm doing marketing in ad tech. And I've always dreamed of doing marketing in entertainment and luxury and beauty. And I know so many cool people right now in that space that are building, and it makes me excited to build along with them and help them be more visible because in turn I get to create, I get to pour into projects that I always dreamed about doing. Yeah. And I don't have to wait to have a job that allows me to do that to do that. So yeah, it's not even out of desperation or just needing something, but it's just out of just curiosity and not forgetting what what I actually enjoy to what I enjoy doing and not just being too content in my life, like not being, not settling. Yeah, definitely settling, I feel like it's the right word.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

And I really love how you were talking about how you know you got everything you wanted, and then you felt like there was still more. And I think that's when the pivot is like extremely necessary. And in this chance, it's not necessarily a pivot, right? Like you're not shifting everything, you're more so just like opening up the horizons to allow something else in as well. And it's not a hundred percent starting over, but you are starting from ground zero in another aspect, and that can be scary and that can be intimidating. But I think that we fall into this corporate trap. Oh my gosh. We all do it though. Like, seriously, the people, I feel like the you know, accelerated child pipeline is they're in these programs, and then they go to, you know, accelerated high schools, and then they go to these great colleges, and then they find these amazing jobs, and then they're freaking burnt out by year two of being in that corporate job because wait, this is it. This is this everything that I work for, and I'm still not getting everything that I want, you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

So I didn't even realize I was I was that archetype of person. I'm just living my life, and then I looked up and I'm just like, oh wow, that maybe is me a little bit. And it's hard to say that because it's not like I wasn't also happy to be in all those places and like this is my life. So I don't want to make it sound like okay, I have all these regrets, and I should have gone to the schools I went to and I shouldn't have done what I did because that's not how I feel. Yeah, but also have I just not been thinking big enough.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Like you gotta think big.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 33:57

And one of the books that we have is The Magic of Thinking Big. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

See what I mean? Like you gotta think bigger sometimes. And I think it was time for me to start expanding a little bit, just what even it is that I thought I was capable of, and what can I do, and what could my days look like? Because have I been just settling for this one idea of what it could look like and okay, that's it. I'm realizing now I don't think you were settling though.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

I think in your ideal world, that's what it looked like, and now you've got into your ideal world and it's opened up a little bit. Yeah, that's true. And so it's not that you were settling ever because you got everything you wanted, and I know that you're not a person who settles, it's just like, okay, I got here. Now I feel comfortable, I like it, but I also feel like there's more. Yeah. So what else can I bring in? And so less of settling, more of opening. Yeah. What else is there for me? Like that. Yeah. So I love it though. Like, I'm excited for you and your journey to starting your own business and just all the things that that'll bring, not necessarily the challenges, but the opportunities and you know, the doors that'll open, the mindset shifts that'll change you and just the the future version of you in general. So I think when it comes to a pivot, it's so important to think about like what you want in the grand scheme of things. Like, if you could have everything that you wanted tomorrow, what would that be? And uh what is your life today? What does your life look like today? And where can you find the here I go again talking about the gaps, but yeah, that's all that I know exactly what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

Where are the gaps and how can you bridge them?

SPEAKER_00 35:34

How can you bridge them? How can you align them to be closer together? So yeah, but I'm glad that you got to a point where it's not like you're not getting the things that you want. And I think that is when the pivots come into play the most, is when you are getting everything that you you wanted or you thought you wanted.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

It's not like I'm okay, I'm you know, it's like okay, I have it, and then what? Yeah. And I'm I know the difference for myself between I'm just not able to sit still for a second and just be in gratitude versus no, there's genuinely something more I can get. Because that can also be that can also be interpreted as okay, so you're just always gonna continue to want things until the day you die. Like I see how that sounds, but I have just sat with that feeling for long enough to know that it's genuinely not that. It is genuinely that, yeah, I accomplished all of these things, I've been at my job now for about a year, and that's given me enough time to assess what else could be possibly added into this and how I actually feel about the situation that I'm in. Yeah, agree.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

With pivots, so for me, there were two different pivots that I feel like I made. So when it came to transferring school, it's transferring schools, transferring schools, I feel like it was more so starting over. And then when it came to my career, that came to me, sounds like more of a pivot, you know. So I feel like, do you think that there's a difference in pivoting versus starting over? Are they the same thing? Yeah, the major difference.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Like uprooting your entire life. Let's say you just choose to move to an entirely different continent, right? You get all new friends, a whole new apartment. You don't take any of your clothes, you're like being a minimalist, you're just gonna build when you get there. That's completely starting over. Yeah, leaving your job for an entirely different one. We're starting over. Like there is there's true starting over. It's like leaving friendships, relationships for sure. A pivot is not the same thing, it's that on a much like smaller scale. Right. So I would say up until this point, I feel that it's primarily been pivots because that's just what I'm comfortable with. I low key am not the girl that's gonna just like pack up everything and go backpacking through Europe to learn more about myself for like a month. I'm just not her. I tend to do things in little pivots, and I try not to do two things at one time. So I remember when I was living out in LA, I knew that it was either, I mean, I was graduating school, so I knew I had to get a job. And then it was also the choice of living in LA or coming back home to Atlanta or some third city. Like, what are we gonna do? And it almost, I like the way it played out. The fact that I moved home, then started a new job, then maybe I'll move again, versus I was so scared for like starting a new job and moving at the same time. And I know some people are built for it, and I'm sure that I am too. Like, I think once you have to do something, yeah, you'll do it. You're a lot stronger than you think you are. Definitely. But just and that my preference, I prefer to get used to like one new big life change at a time, which is why that period for me a couple weeks ago where it felt like everything was changing, yeah, almost took me out because I just couldn't deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

You're talking about some took me out. That's what it basically felt like.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Like I just was going through it for a minute because it was just so much to process at one time. So yeah, I I think the pivots are what I'm more used to having at this point because there's always something changing, like little things. If it's not the relationship status, it's the job. If it's not the job, then it's been the location. If it's not the location, then maybe I've it's been the friend group, like you know, but I can handle that. Yeah, but totally like a just a total start over, I don't think I've had that yet. Yeah, but I think at some point I will. I think everyone does at some point.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Yeah, I agree. Starting over is hard, but pivoting is also challenging as well. And I think that the older that you get, the more challenging those things become. And when it does come to a pivot or starting over, if you are thinking about it, I think it's just so much better to do it while you're young and while you still have one the energy to mentally process that and physically too, if it's a physical change, environmental change, or something like that. But also just doing it while you're young because you have so much more of a leeway or runway to bounce back if things were to go awry, you know. Like if you were to pivot jobs and you hated the job that you pivoted into, okay, well, you still have the energy and the time to transition and pivot into something else at the same time. So it's not just like, and I'm saying, like, if you're older and you want to pivot, you still can do that, but your mind is an asset at the end of the day, like you're it's your biggest teammate, you know? Yeah, it's like a tool, it's exactly if you put your mind to something, it's a machine, like your brain is literally a computer. You tell your brain what you want because your brain is a computer and then it gets to calculating for you. And I whenever I've made pivots too, I've realized that you know, when I set my mind to something, it figures out a way for it to be done. Like, yeah, whenever I feel like I want to change this about my life, and I'm for real, like gotta be for real. You gotta be for real. You do gotta be for real. But once you put the work in, yeah, like you tell it what you want, you can give it a plan, but most of the time the plan kind of unfolds itself, and I mean you can have a plan, and the plan does not go according to plan too, so there's that as well. But I genuinely feel like it's easier when you're younger, but it's still possible, and you're fully capable to do it when you're older, too. Yeah, and you could be 60 years old trying to make a pivot. Do it because you're still here and you still have another chance to make that happen for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

So I 100% agree with you. Yeah, and I've always just felt so it's such a rewarding thing to take a risk and take a leap and to know that you made it happen. It builds so much confidence. Like I've said that before, just doing hard things makes you trust yourself, it makes you believe in your abilities a lot. Like I think I was telling you this today. I feel like I keep like referencing things I told you today, but for whatever reason, today's been a good day for conversation. Really good day for conversation. But the the thing that I remember most about my time in LA wasn't really the grad program. Like all of those classes, while phenomenal, most of them outside of like one or two that just were really standouts were just routine.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:09

But there was so much of, and I guess that was a life change of just newness. Like I really did go out there, no family, no friends, and built all of that myself. Like I made, and my friends and I were still like this, the ones that I still am close with. Like, we made a community out there. I did things that I was just, I it's not even like me to be doing. Like I was just always social, yeah, even when I didn't want to be, because I remembered at Howard thinking, I just wish I had more friends. And I was like, I'm capable of making friends, like I am capable of putting myself out there. I don't have to exist behind this, like, I'm shy anymore. It's just not you. Just go out there and just be who you want to be because these people don't know you. So I would tell my friends stories about myself, like, ah guys, I used to be like this, or I just and they're like, You shy? And I'm like, that is insane that you've never known the version of me that didn't have this confidence that I do now. Like you guys think of me as someone totally different. And it's just because I up and decided to be that because I'm capable of that. And I I was just doing stuff. Like I went skydiving. Yeah. I'm like, I'm just this girl went skydiving. Skydiving with my friend on a whim because she's in the air.

SPEAKER_00 43:24

I forgot how many exactly I'm still like, but it is a very big number. Yeah, it's a big, it's got zeros behind it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

I have a video and everything, and I'm just there grinning. And I just, I'm like, I just loved life out there. It just always every day just felt like a day of like an adventure. What's today gonna bring? But I remember right up until that move, I was so scared. And I'm like, is this really the right choice? Like, yeah, this is really bold of me because outside of that, I'd only ever lived in DC, which is on the West Coast, in our flight home. I'm like, if something was to happen to me. People have to go on a plane for four to five hours. Four to five. Five. Five, basically. Not even counting. You had to pull up to the airport with the TSK. Basically a whole day trick and battle just to finally get to me.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

Like at least we we go back in time. So when we get there, you know, we still got the rest of the day most of the time. That's really true.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

So that's a plus. But it was just, you know, I don't know if I view it as so much of a total life change because I was, it was also for school. Like it wasn't like I just randomly did it, but I it gave me a taste of what that feels like when you just you you just completely change your environment. I changed as a person and it expanded my worldview to what's even possible. Yeah. I was around, like, I was around Hollywood. I was around the entertainment industry. I just saw so much that I remember telling my boss, I I think the biggest thing outside of who I became while I was here was just seeing what is really out there and knowing that that's always a world that exists for me. Like before I lived out there, I okay, LA, like I wanted to live there for sure. But now I'm like, you ask me what my ideal life looks like. I have property in LA and I can go out there and I can do business out there and then come back. I that wasn't even something that I was like thinking that I could do. Yeah. But I'm out there and I'm looking at people who do that. I have a cousin out there who goes from LA back to Atlanta back and forth often. So it wasn't even like I'm looking at celebrities do it. I'm looking at people that are very, it's very attainable. So I'm just like, you have to sometimes just take that leap, not only just to prove to yourself that you can do something, but that it's it just expands. That word, we keep using that, but it widens what you even know is possible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

And I I want to touch on something that you said because we've talked about pivots and starting over when it came to career-wise, maybe it was physically in a new city or um something along those lines, but also there is starting over and there's pivoting when it comes to just who you are in general, like your personality, your habits, your identity, exactly. And I mean, that also could be a different topic when it comes to identity shifts and arguments. I mean, I think I have it written down. Oh, you do? Literally perfect.

SPEAKER_01 46:19

Because it's it's I wrote it down. I said I'm outgrowing old versions of myself because I'm disconnected from who I used to be. Yeah, or not even disconnected because sometimes that's it, but also sometimes it's you might still feel connected, but you're trying to actively be something else. Yeah. And it it's a process of shedding. Like, why do I feel this way about myself? What is really holding me here? Because you could just up and become someone else, but there's often so many shackles, like invisible shackles holding you to something.

SPEAKER_00 46:47

Yes, you know, and what are those shackles? Yeah, yeah. You know how people at the beginning of the year, I I even have like a YouTube video that was like, rebrand yourself or something like that. What I did was like I decided on those three words that I wanted to embody and that I just really wanted to shift my personality into to feel like I'm a different person. So yeah, I think there's pivoting when it comes to that too, like different identity, like changing who you are, not necessarily in a bad way, but just in a way that supports the person that you're becoming or that you want to become on a grander scale.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Yeah. So I had um this quote written on my mirror for about a year or two, and it was visualize your highest self, and then it was like embody her or act as her, make decisions as her. It was something along those lines, yeah. And I think the first time I read that, it was just like, duh. Like duh. It's not that I have to just try to jump from being who I am now to like who I really want to be because I kept getting stuck there. It was like it was too big of a gap. I was like, I don't even know where to start. So then you basically just do nothing at all. Like, you know, exactly, yeah. But it was just in every single choice that I'm making today, let me just act as though I'm that girl. What would she be doing? Yeah. Like, okay, she wakes up. What's her next move? Does she just lay in the bed and is she on her phone for a good hour and then she gets up and she's already mentally fogged because she all she did was consume Instagram and TikTok first thing. Yeah. Because that's what I used to do. Or did she wake up and just take a moment, stretch? Did she like say her affirmations? Okay, she did that one probably. Let's do that. All right, next. And then you just at like every little decision, you just kind of check in with like, okay, what would the best version of myself do? I just really don't feel like doing this, but I mean, the best version of myself is the kind of woman that gets stuff done. So let's just see how much of it we can get done and call it a day. It was just little decisions like that, and then over time, now I am that girl. Yeah, literally. Now I'm becoming her, and it's it's just crazy because it was like, yeah, just take it literally every single decision at a time, and every day won't be perfect, but you're certainly way closer, and then you just look up one day and it's like, wait, I'm no longer cosplaying, I just am.

SPEAKER_00 49:04

Exactly. So, exactly. And it feels weird at first because it does feel like you're cosplaying. Like, for sure. What are you trying to do? I'm like, okay, not your own brain is gaslighting you. Like who you think you are? You do this now, right? Okay, okay. So you can see the tonight. You're not gonna go out.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

You know, but you know you want to go out, but you know you be burning that rice. Come on, hello, like and burn rice. I sure have several times. You know me, you know me. I'm on a cooking journey. Right.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

I'm better, but you know where I've come from. She said, I'm on a cooking journey. I'm gonna work your progress. Right, it's okay. We're all learning out here. Trust and believe that. But yeah, it was just like that's that quote really helped me to bridge those gaps. Me too, me too. I think I've seen that quote, and that is on repeat. And it's in podcasts, like, you know, Mel Robin, shout out to her. She has a podcast and was like they pretty much said the same thing. And um, I was like, wow, actually, it could it could all be so simple, huh?

SPEAKER_01 50:03

Yeah, it makes it so digestible versus we always make concepts so much bigger than they are, and yeah, any hurdle that we have to jump over to get to where we want to be, in your in your mind, it just becomes so oh, I gotta do this, then I gotta do that. And then it's it just can give you a headache. Yeah, but it when you just break it down as simple as look, just you're trying to you're trying to predict this entire next month when all you have to do is just do this next step. Yeah. And then even when you do the next step, like the gym being an example, if you go one day, you're already in your mind thinking, okay, how am I gonna sustain this for a week, then a month, let alone a year, then you're telling me how to do this the rest of my life? How am I gonna do that? When it's like you're already siphoning yourself out when all you really have to do is just worry about tonight. Yeah, and then a series of worrying about tonight over a lifetime will then turn into a lifetime. Exactly. So you just have to make the concepts a lot less simple or a lot less complex for yourself, right? Right, for sure, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 51:00

Yeah, I think one of the things that scares me the most is like starting over in the future. Like, I'm like kind of future tripping, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

I'll be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 51:10

Yeah. Like, oh, what would happen if I what would happen? It didn't happen, actually. So that's past tense. Um, anyway, so what happened? What would happen? Um, what would happen if I have to start this over or if I have to make a career pivot at 30 something?

SPEAKER_01 51:27

I'll be thinking that too, you know, and that kind of stresses me out a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

Why first of all, why but why am I thinking about that?

SPEAKER_01 51:32

But I like to be prepared.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

There's a prepared thing, and that's like, but it's like, but do I need to be prepared? Like that's the thing. Trust that the version of myself that is going through that, has the tools that she needs exactly that pivot, and it'll be very graceful. There is a level of self-trust exactly that's required.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

That is required because yeah, you just know that she'll be able to deal. Yeah, but I've even gone as far as like I'll read Reddit threads because I think I love Reddit threads just because it's so human, so real. It's just humans talking. You could find any problem, any issue. Someone has been there, done that. Like you are not alone on Reddit for sure. And I was on this one thread where they were talking about life pivots and people were just sharing their stories in the comments, and they were all much older than me. They all had the stakes, were just a lot higher for them. Like they have families, kids, they've par like uh aging parents that depend on them. They have it's like we know you have to, you can't just pivot and do whatever you want as a solo woman. Yeah, you have all these people depending on you, or you have so much invested in a business, you have so much time that you've spent, and you don't have as much time ahead of you anymore as you used to. And just reading those stories, I mean, it was so cool because you can really like step into someone else's shoes for a second when normally you wouldn't be able to. But it also was a little worrying for me because I was like, wow, none of these people, if you had asked them at 24 years old if this was gonna happen, they couldn't have told you. Yeah, because it was just so unpredictable the types of things that you encounter. So I'll be future tripping too.

SPEAKER_00 53:03

Because I'm just like, wow, I but on though, like if somebody told you at 23 what your life would look like at 24, would you have believed them? You know?

SPEAKER_01 53:14

I think now I would have.

SPEAKER_00 53:15

But you're 24 now.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Well, like, but if you had told me last year, this would be kind of believable.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

Like at when you were leaving USC and was like telling you, okay, at 24, this is exactly what's gonna happen for you.

SPEAKER_01 53:30

It still sounded pretty realistic because it's what I was working toward. Like I always knew I wanted to move home, live there for a hot second, move out. Like, I don't think anything crazy, get a job, move out. But I do see what you mean because there are some things that are unpredictable. Like I was talking about it with my dad yesterday, no, maybe two days ago, about maybe you were at the house. Was it Tuesday? When we were just saying, like, what we like this time last year, if we're like, oh, you're married, like, wait, what? Like, so there are some things that are just kind of like, yeah, you know, yeah, I know. I can't say I can have I would have been able to predict my entire life, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, not just like where you are, but everything that's going on around you. Yeah, everything, yeah. Because I think worldly events, girl, we wouldn't even speak on worldly. Who knows with that? Like, nobody ever knows with that. I can only control what's going on in these four walls, baby. Or should I say this little brain right here? Hello, that's it. Like, but I genuinely feel like if somebody sat me down, even when I was at Georgia State, it was like, next year you're gonna be at a whole different school, yeah. This, this, and that, you're gonna be involved. I would have been like, Oh wow, oh, that's cool. Yeah, that sounds nice. Like, how do I do that? You know, same thing with somebody telling me, okay, because I think I told you I was planning on leaving my job at 25. Yeah, I was like, I made a I made a note, and my goal is like, okay, you are gonna leave by 25, you're gonna have this done. But if I would have waited till 25, then things would have been way different than they are now. So, and somebody would have told me at 24 that I would have been in a different situation by 25 and all these things, I would have been like, Are you for real? Like all that happened in a year, and so I can't even comprehend like the future version of myself, like where I would be at 32. Like, I legit have no idea. I have a general sense of where I want to be, but where I'm actually at, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 55:26

Like, but I actually like that mindset. I think knowing too much, it closes you in. Yeah, like you just should have a general sense. Yeah. Because I don't think anything, I haven't talked to a single person that that's how it's gone. So it's like, why do people try to have such strict parameters? You might really just be not even opening yourself up to what life could bring. So I like that you don't know because you don't know, but you're prepared to face it when it comes, you know?

SPEAKER_00 55:53

Exactly. And I do want to be open to whatever life has to bring, even if that does mean embracing the pivot or starting over again. But I think that starting over is like a really loose term because if you're starting over, that means you have no tools to help you build. Like you're literally starting from ground zero. But I don't think that starting over is starting from ground zero. I think that starting over is like maybe you've built the foundation, but you kind of got to knock it down and rebuild something else.

SPEAKER_01 56:19

Yeah, because I don't think you're ever truly starting from ground zero unless you're a literal child. Yeah, you know, and you just reborn. All the lessons you've learned, even if you're you're going from being like a marketer to working in tab dancing, there's something that can be applied.

SPEAKER_00 56:33

You know, teamwork, you know, like you're never starting from ground zero ever.

SPEAKER_01 56:38

Literally, it just makes you a more seasoned person. And the people who pivot, I wish I did more of that because they're the coolest. If you ever talk to somebody that just does a bunch, and especially at our age, it's like, well, you don't really have to tie yourself down to one thing. You ever talk to someone that just has done literally anything and everything, and they're so niche, it's like you literally are living such a cool life. I want to talk to you all day. So I think it's a really nice thing.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

Yeah, me too. You really legit cannot plan for the I mean, you can plan for the future, you just cannot prepare in the way that it's you want to know everything. But I also think that's beautiful because I don't want to know everything, like that's just part of the human experience of just watching everything unfold and how everything happens for a reason. And if you do have to pivot, it's leading you to something even better and greater and more beautiful than what you originally had planned. Like, I always think that it kind of goes back to the cosmos belief of just like believing that the universe, God something has something great in store for you if you choose and are willing to believe that. And so every pivot is very much so divine, every pivot is very much so orchestrated, it might be out of your control. But you know, five years down the line, when you're able to remove yourself from it, you see how beneficial that was to your development and to your growth. So yeah, yeah, even if you do have to start from ground zero, it's not starting from ground zero. Like, you know how when there's um apartments, there's always a ground floor. The ground floor is gonna stay the same. They might renovate the actual units, but like the ground floor is always ground floor, and so yeah, starting from ground floor instead of zero, absolutely nothing, you know, building up from that, even if you do have to like wipe the slate and start over. Because usually if we're bringing it back to real estate analogies, like a fix and flip, you're you're buying the property, you don't change anything about the land. The land is the foundation, you're just changing what was built on it, and you could turn something that was really cute, maybe 250,000, into something that's beautiful and grand, and it's 1.5 mil, you know? And so it's just about learning the art of that and learning, okay, this is not necessarily a bad thing that I'm having to start over. What's the beauty in this? What can I start fresh? Like, I think even with you making new friends at Howard and me transferring to West Georgia and having to start over in that aspect, like I could literally like rebrand, I could really become a different version of myself, a more evolved version of myself. And I think about that too. When I like imagine moving cities or going across the country and like moving continents and stuff like that, like I can really embrace a whole different archetype of myself, but also different places brings out different parts of YouTube. So yeah, yeah, all that to say that pivoting is is going to be necessary in life. Like, there's gonna be times where we legit just have to pivot. Like it could be something as small as dang, my Chinese spot is not open. I gotta find something else for dinner, like you know, like yeah, but those are the real day-to-day decisions, exactly. And those are all so important. I wanted my cauliflower wings and they didn't have them, so I had to get something out. But I ended up getting some nachos that was and they were fired, it was amazing. Exactly, exactly, just embracing the pivot and learning that it's I think one of my opportunities though is not being so frustrated about it. Yeah, like I let's just throw it back to the cauliflower wings example because you know, you have your mind set, yeah. You know, you are set on that honey garlic cauliflower wings, you know, with your ranch, you know, what you're gonna dip them in. And then they're not open, it's permanently closed. First of all, why are you permanently closed? That's the first of all, yeah, you know, like what spot is this? Buffalo Wild Wings. The one um by Cumberland? No, they have a ghost kitchen right over here, like right by the works. Okay, and it's like less than a mile. I pull up permanently closed. Yeah, so what do you mean? I was just over here the other day. Like, when did y'all do that? Overnight decision. Overnight, pack it up, and it got out too. And so then it was like, okay, well, let's order to this location. This location was an hour. I'm not waiting an hour for cauliflower wings. I'm sorry, it's one order, baby. Like, I can understand if I had a whole family meal, it was one thing, no, not doing it. Cancel my order. Sorry, I'm hungry now. Like, I've been hungry all day, actually. Right, but then just like not being so tied to the idea of having cauliflower wings, instead, just being tied to the idea of having something that's gonna sustain me and something that is gonna fill me up, and I'm gonna be happy with it, regardless of what it is. Yeah, and so we pivoted.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:12

You know what? That that's a phenomenal point because I I have to work on that too. Yeah, me too, girl. Like my energy when it's time to pivot and when it's time to shake things up, it's sometimes it's it's just not there. Yes, and it makes the entire situation harder anyway, because I'm just resisting this change so much and I'm irritated or I'm sad or I'm anxious or all the things. And I mean, it's not like it's it's maybe it's unrealistic to just think, okay, like life change and let's do da-da-da-do. Yay! Yay! Everything about my life is changing over now. I'm just happy. Like, that's not that's not at all. But I can just definitely tell, like, even with little decisions, how yeah, maybe I also just get a little irritable when something is not going exactly how I laid it out to go in my head. And that's that's not a good trait to have because it's not that it's not a good trait, it's normal.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

It is I feel the same way when things don't go according to my plan. I'm frustrated, I'm upset, I'm questioning like, why is this happening to me? But I mean, it takes me a little bit of time to understand, oh, that's not happening to me, it's happening for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:20

Yeah, you know, it it it always I always have to take some breathing room because, like you said, five years later, I'm like, not even five years at times, but five little bit of time of buttons, five. I'm like, wow, that was actually the best thing that could have happened for me because this, this, this, and this. But I have to work on just trusting in the moment that even when I'm at my most confused, upset, uh, what is going on my whole life, it feels like it's it's like turned on top of its head or whatever. That yeah, we don't have to just sit here and wallow though, because we know at the end of the day it's gonna work out. It always does. And I will say that's that's what helps with this whole like future, what did you call it? Future tripping. Future tripping. Um, I think future faking is like a whole different concept. Future faking? Yeah, that's a whole different concept. Oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever heard of that before. I'll tell you about it later. It's like a whole different thing, but um that's what helps me is that it generally works out. Yeah, it generally works out. There's like that saying where it's like if it's gonna be okay and if it's not okay, it's not the end yet. Yeah, I say that all the time because it's it's really easy to get discouraged, but up until this point, I can see why things have happened the way they did. Yeah, I see why things worked out the way they did. So I have to just continue to trust that. Yeah. Because it's easy to trust when life's going well than when it's not. When it's not, you still have to have that same level. You do actually more than exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:47

And that's actually um a sermon that happened at church not too long ago. And he was basically talking about, you know, everybody is so quick to praise God when everything is going well. You know, you got the job, you got the apartment, you got the check came through, you know what I'm saying? You got pregnant, and you was waiting you know, and but when things get hard, I know, because then my age ever got pregnant. I'm thinking that it was the congratulations. I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah, you know, people actually actually have their brain, right? I still feel like anybody who like anyway, but what do you think I'm gonna actually never mind, never mind, never mind. Um, but yeah, so you know, we're so quick to like be like, oh, thank you, God, for everything that I have, you know, showing gratitude when everything is going good. But the minute things get hard, you doubt the faith that you have, you doubt your trust in the Lord. And it's like, no, that's when you actually need to lean in. That's when you lean in more because there's something that's like cooking in the oven, but you know, it's like a crock pot sort of vibe, kind of like I think you used that analogy before. Crockpot analogy that it's like, it's like a stew, it takes time. And the the what you're asking for might just take a little bit more time to manifest than you know the other things that you might have seen happen around you in your life. So and the ingredients may include struggle.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:13

It's struggle, like we actually have to work the outcome until we sprinkle in a little bit of hardship.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:18

Yeah, and maybe he's just waiting for you, and I'll say he asn't God, is just waiting for you to grow a little bit more in order to get that. Because another thing is like the life that I want now, or the life that I have now, is the life that I really wanted when I had just graduated. And I wanted that straight out of school. But had I had I have been given that life straight out of school, I would have fumbled. Like I literally would have just like it would have been gone, it would have gone to absolute disaster. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:50

I wanted a midtown penthouse fresh out of school and straight to the city. I want my own place, I want my own thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:58

I'm gonna get my dream called.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:06

And yeah, you had handed that to me even a year ago. Girl, it just wouldn't have been the same thing as it is right now. Like, can I what I say would have been bad? I don't think it would have been bad, but it just would have been different in a way that living at home for that year was necessary. So I I totally get you.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:21

Yeah, exactly. So just keeping that faith and that trust in God, the universe, whatever you believe in, when things aren't necessarily going your way, when you are pivoting and you're kind of confused in that pivot, the confusion of okay, what actually is next? What is the plan for me? Or even if you are thinking about pivoting and you haven't even made the decision to actually pivot yet, you just have to lean in and put your trust in the universe and in God and just like know that whatever is being whatever is cooking for you is the full five-course meal that's got your protein, it's got your veggies, it's got the necessary amount of carbs, it's got everything that you need. You just need to wait, you know. It does not come overnight because nothing good ever comes overnight, like you said. So yeah, and if you were to have everything that you wanted now, would you be able to handle that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:10

Because like literally ask yourself the people who have quote unquote everything and have it all, and you don't see what went on in the background for them to be able to handle that. Like if you were to just to hand somebody their dream career, like use like the the pop star like reference. If you were to hand somebody who was just now putting songs out on SoundCloud and really try to make it, tomorrow they they're performing in stadiums across the the world. Right. They would be like because they didn't go through the experience of having their first show and and feeling awkward. Yeah, they didn't go through selling out little venues and then over time popping off. They didn't have their first single finally reach the charts, and now they're like there's all these little wins. They didn't have the label then cut the budget because they weren't performing well enough and they had to figure out how they were gonna start over again. Like you have to, you have to like, you know, so whatever career that you're whatever track you're on, whatever career you're on, same things. You have to go through things. And you know, I'm telling you all this as though, like, I'm yes, guys, you have to go through things. They would not be going through things. I'd be like, that's a low for me. What? This is such a low. Like, I'm just trying to have fun. I just want to be an absolute cute and outside and just have my dream life. But I do understand that you know, life without any adversity is first of all really, really rare. But people who don't really go through things and even push themselves, they they just exist in this very, very sheltered world where any little thing can shake them. And it do you just don't build the resilience that you need, you don't the resiliency that you need, you don't build the life skills that you need to become who you really, really want to be. Yeah, if you avoid hard things like the pivots, like starting over, like you know, all of the things that come with that.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:50

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, honestly, embrace the pivot. Embrace the pivot. It's not anything that you should shy away away from at any point in time because and as many times as you need to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:04

I I start over, I think, like every day on a micro level. I don't care what happened. I mean, we all do, right? The day before. Yeah, we do. I don't care what happened the day before. Like, I could have absolutely fallen on my face in every possible aspect yesterday. When I wake up the next day, it's back to the affirmations. It's back to, but I am this, but I am that. But I even when I feel confused, even when I feel embarrassed, even when I feel humiliated, even when I feel sad, I am still capable of all of these things. And we just keep it pushing. Like I start over it, I will be having a bad day up until noon. And one of my favorite affirmations is from this moment on, today is a good day. I'll just stop the day right there. Yeah. Say that. I don't care what just happened. Like we're by today, my day started at 12. I love that. 17 because like I'm starting over. So I feel like I do that in little ways too, because it's just no need to hold on to what just happened sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:59

Like let things go, let things go, let things move, let things flow in the way that there's a really good affirmation. I think I sent it to you. Or actually, it's not affirmation, it's a meditation that's like today's a new day. Like, whatever happened yesterday, it's yesterday. Today is a brand new day, full of new opportunities, new conversations, new everything. What are you gonna do with it? And don't harness in yesterday, and don't sit in yesterday, especially if yesterday is making you feel bad, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:30

Like, yeah, it's like why are we sitting in it? Yeah, there's also another quote. Oh, we're quoting right now. Right, we quoting because it's just making me think. But these are all the things that have helped us. I think about these things all the time, but it was like, if you're in hell, why stop there? If you're going through hell, why stop there? Yeah, true. Like you be feeling like a mess. Why am I gonna park the car here then just sit here? No, let's keep driving. And it's such a simple phrase. And I say that to people all the time when they're just telling me about something I can just tell they're just kind of marinating. And I'm like, yo, like, I know you're going through it, but if we're here, why are we gonna stop? Let's keep fighting then so we don't gotta be here no more. Exactly. So it's only a matter of time, it's only a matter of time. Yeah, literally, only a matter of time all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:10

But yeah, embrace the pivot. And I guess honestly, at that point, we could walk out with that because that's what I'm walking with. It's a lot of food for thought in this episode, especially if you're going through your own pivot or your own transition right now. Like, I just like to think that everything happens for a reason, and you need to trust that whenever your body is telling you something or it's on your heart, you're feeling it. Like sometimes you can feel physically feel things. And if you are feeling any of that, like just trust that the universe that God or something is telling you to pivot, and then really understand what it's telling you to maybe pivot to. Maybe you already know and you just don't want to admit that to yourself because I mean that's real too. Like, you know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it because of the cascade effect that that could have on your life. But honestly, everything does happen for a reason. So yeah, I ain't got nothing else to say to that one because that's exactly how I feel. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so if you really enjoyed this episode, leave us an emoji in the comments. What emoji?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

I think I think the traffic sign, yeah, because it's kind of like green, you full gassing it. Right yellow, okay, we're gonna assess. Are we gonna speed up or we gonna slow down? Stop and like you know, wait, you know, assess. Like, I think it's it's it's like the entire range of like what you have to do when you're pivoting. 100%. I know I kind of like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:37

I like that. Period. You a and as always, if you're watching our beautiful faces on YouTube, please be sure to subscribe, like, leave that comment, and honestly, tell us how you're getting through your pivots, some of the lessons that you've learned. Same on Spotify, because you can comment on Spotify as well. And make sure you follow us on Apple Music and Spotify too. And we're also on social media. So if you haven't seen us on social media on Instagram and TikTok, be sure to check us out there. Everything, everything, everything that we talked about and said was gonna be in the description, will be in the description for you. So be sure to check out that description, okay? Yes, and other than that, leave us a five-star review. We haven't even gotten to that yet, we haven't been saying that, but y'all do need to always know, you know, like five-star. Exactly. Never hurt nobody, don't take nothing. And if it's anything less than five stars, DM us, talk to us personally so we can work through that together in private, okay. But other than that, thank you for sitting and having a conversation with us, letting us walk you out, and we will see you in the next one. Bye. Bye.