Perfectionism Should Be Illegal

S1, E2: Welcome back to Let Me Walk You Out!

In this episode, your hosts Stephanie and Kyndall talk about where they are in life right now, how they got there, and the five things that helped shape their journeys so far.

Let Me Walk You Out is a podcast for women navigating self-growth, alignment, friendship, womanhood, ambition, and the real conversations that usually happen after you say, “girl, let me walk you out.”

We’re talking about career pivots, entrepreneurship, post-grad pressure, personal development, routines, comparison, self-belief, faith, and why perfectionism should honestly be illegal.

This episode is for the girlies who are building the life they prayed for, but are also learning that they cannot lose themselves in the process.

Every week, we’ll bring you conversations that feel like sitting with your homegirls, laughing, reflecting, unpacking life, and walking away with something to carry into the rest of your week.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

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Black-Owned Business of the Week: The Vibrary
Location: Stone Mountain, Georgia
Founder: Candace Walker
Vibe Check: “When we went, we had the most delightful experience. We had the opportunity to cowork, drink a little glass of wine, then end the night with some reading and conversation. They don't have food, but they do have light bites. They also have books there if you want to buy any. Wifi is free and available. They often host events as well, so follow them on social to stay updated on when those are.”

Support/Follow The Vibrary: 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thevibraryatl/ 
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100065164674137 

Transcript

0:00

Yeah, I mean isn't that illegal? Yeah, to have an expired license and to be driving with that thing. Yeah. So can't have it. Exactly. Can't have can have it. Because I would be in jail. It would be illegal. You know, that's perfectionism should be illegal. Like in case of like that. I like that. See what I did. Put it on a t-shirt. I like that. Oh my gosh, for real. Put it on the t-shirt. Perfectionism where it's illegal. Yeah. Welcome to Let Me Walk You Out, the podcast about self-growth, alignment, personal development, and womanhood. Honestly. We are your hosts. My name is Stephanie. I'm Kendall. And we are so excited to have you back for another podcast episode, episode number two. Shout out to the girlies who are watching straight after the first. Welcome back. We're so excited to have you here. And today we're gonna be having a very fruitful conversation about where we are in life, how we got here, and hopefully you can find something that really helps you and you can get something from this episode, basically. So so excited to have you back. And if you are watching on YouTube, my friend, and you are have the front you have the opportunity to see our beautiful faces that we put so much time and effort into making for you this morning, please hit that like button because that will suggest to the algorithm that this is a good show for others to watch as well. And if you already know you're gonna be engaged with our content, you like us already, just hit that red button to subscribe. You know, as well, it's right there. It doesn't cost you anything to support, and we will really, really, really appreciate you. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and you don't have the opportunity to hear our or to see our faces, but you have the opportunity to hear our voice, go ahead and follow because we need that. And don't forget to leave a five-star review. All right, that's all the things. That's all the things, housekeeping. We done begging, right? We done begging exactly. We don't beg over here, but we'll beg for a little follow. But we'll go ahead and get into it. So we have a little bit of a different cadence from the first episode, just because the first episode was very much so like introductory, like we needed you to know who we are, right? So the from this episode on, it'll be a little bit different, but yeah, let's go ahead and take it away with highs and lows. I'll let you go first, Fran. Yeah, girl. My high this week, I would say, was Cinco de Mayo. We were together, yeah. So um, we went to Cinco de Mayo on the belt line, the real tacos. Yeah. And um, maybe not the best choice in hindsight, and honestly, in forwardsight, if that's how you would say it, I knew it probably wasn't gonna be the best choice because everybody and their mama was trying to be on the belt line and then at real tacos at that. So I knew it was gonna be a bit of a wait, but it's the belt line. So we know we were just like kicking it. Like I was with Steph, um, her niece Callie, her sister Ryan, and you know, I haven't seen them in a minute. So I feel like it was just cool to on a Tuesday night, you know, get out there. We thinking it's Friday, like we just chilling. So we got real thick of it. We got work in the morning, and we never actually did sit down by the time that we were inching up, like we could see us on a wait list, so it was like teasing us is okay, you spot number 10, you number seven, you number three. It just kind of free-falled, I think. So we had to ask, you know, we went up to the hostess and was like, What's what's tea basically? And they were like, We're not accepting anymore, like we're not seating anyone after we had been there for like what four hours? Yeah, we got there, you got there before me. Yeah, not too much longer before you though. I've been there for maybe 15 minutes. Okay, yeah, because I remember getting there around seven, around seven, and at six, Callie said it was a two-hour wait. Yeah, and then I was like, okay, perfect. I get there at seven, you know, it's only gonna be an hour before we eat, you know, then eight o'clock came and went, then nine o'clock came and went, and then at 10, we're like, okay, what's actually going on? Yeah, and yeah, it just didn't happen for us. Yeah, yeah. So next year, Cinco at the house. At the house, um Cinco de casa, yeah, for real. Like, we could do all that at home for free and no weight, but the highlight was definitely seeing y'all and breaking up my week. And then my low, I would say that I feel like these last two weeks, I'm coming up off of just being so tired. I'm so tired and I'm so overwhelmed with everything going on in life. And um, I guess like a chair. Like, I feel like that's so vague. But basically, if you think about it, trying to make one decision is hard. I feel like I had to make like five major decisions in my life. So the first one being moving, I had to figure out where I was gonna move. Unexpectedly, I'm moving out of where I live now sooner than I thought. Yeah, so within the span of like two weeks, I was touring apartments and then getting ready to sign a lease. And this is the first lease that I'm signing as like an adult by myself. Yeah, you know how we joke about secretly or not secretly, suddenly becoming important at your job. So I wouldn't say I'm the most important person on the team, but I'm definitely I started my job nine months ago, and I'm definitely more integrated into the team. So I feel a part of a lot more projects, and that was overwhelming. Then um starting this podcast. Yeah, I also was thinking about this podcast and making sure we had all the details together, yeah. And I feel like being in this with you, it's been made easier. Like I don't have to totally do this by myself. Yeah, but that was another thing I was thinking about. And I'd say the last thing was also trying to start my own business. And I feel like we'll talk a lot more about that, and I'm excited for us to talk more about that because you have your own business, and so we can talk, you know, a whole episode dedicated to what that takes. But I feel like I'm kind of in the planning stage of trying to figure out what that might look like at the same time as potentially having people that want to work with me. So it almost feels like you're like building the plane while you're flying it. Yeah, which I think overall has caused me to just lose sleep. Like I've just been prioritizing, all right. Like, you know, you're working from nine to five, then you do your five to nine, and then I just keep going. Then it's nine to twelve, then it's 12 to 3 a.m. Then it's 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. And then I'm back up at the gym at 6. It's just like you know, a lot. So I think my low has been realizing that you can't do it all, there's not enough time in the day, you have to be intentional and prioritize, but it's been a learning curve. Yeah, and we're still coming up out of it where I feel a little bit unbalanced, but we'll get there. You're getting there. Yeah, it's a process though, yeah. But it's good that you're learning. Yeah, those are all good problems to have though. They are great problems. I almost think that I'm like, you know what, these are things that you prayed for. Yeah, it just kind of seemed to all happen within the same time period, like so cramped, yeah, back to back to back, like decision fatigue times a thousand. I'm oh I'm good for that. Like I have decision fatigue so bad. So yeah, but you know, I think that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's taught me a lot about time management, and you can't lose your mind for anything. I don't care how big the goal is. If you feel like you are losing sleep and not taking care of yourself, it's not worth it. Yeah, yeah. And then also learning the difference between like being busy and then being productive, too. Because I don't want to be a hamster on a wheel just running and just doing stuff, yeah. Yeah, well, thank you for sharing. Yeah, I appreciate you for letting us in. Listen, I'm like this a therapy session. I'm gonna I'm like, whoa, she really let y'all in right now. Like, you don't even understand. Or I could just tell you what I'm going through so you could really see the picture. Yeah, and I appreciate you for painting that picture. Yeah, well, I guess uh my high would also be single day Maya or whatever Ryan was. Like a single day drinking, single day drinko, or something like that. And with hey, we barely drink, like I feel like we didn't do the holiday right at all. We literally just hung out on the belt line, yeah, which I enjoyed. I got my 10,000 steps that day. I was happy about that, and I was happy to see everybody because I hadn't seen them, hadn't seen Callie since before my trip. And I saw Ryan when I got back to go pick up Jack, but that was about it. And I'm like, dang, oh, that's a lie. I had seen Ryan that past like weekend, anyway. I ain't really seen him in that long, so I was happy to see it's always such a good time with y'all though. Like, we always just it just flows so nicely. It just when you find a group of girls, and like we're mostly family anyway, so it's like it's really not like we're found each other. Y'all was born into the same family, but then y'all adopted me something. Exactly, you know. She was adopted for a long time. They think of Kendall as her sister, their sisters for real. Like, cause they pretty much known you for yeah, ever. As long as I've known you, which feels like our whole life, but anyway, basically, yeah. So, yeah, single day Maya was super fun. I enjoyed walking the belt line, even though I wish we would have walked further, being that we were on that wait for so long. Like, we could have found other restaurants along the way, yeah, but we're definitely not doing re real tacos again on single day mayo. You say we're real, we're real, we're real, okay, because it's two R's. How do they be doing? How do you be really R's? Okay, real. It's giving real Cardi B. Don't say that. That was so nice. So, yeah, not doing that again. Neither doing the belt line location again. I feel like I just feel like every time I've gone, I've just been a little disappointed with their customer service, with their space. There's just a lot of things about the belt line location. Yeah. I mean, I did see that dude from the TikToks, which was fun to see. And he was singing and everything, which was nice. But what's his name? I think it's like Kevin. I can't confirm nor deny because I don't really know. I don't even want to. I'm gonna say it's like beltline Kevin or something. It's beltline something, but he be roller skating and sinking. Maybe he's just a vibe. He's a vibe, but I'm wondering how he's everywhere all at once, it seems like, because I feel like I've seen him in so many people's videos. Probably, but if they all be on a belt line, yeah. Um I guess he's not technically every roll at once, it's just the belt line, but he seems to be in all the videos and everything, but yeah, yeah. So that was my high, and I would say my low is probably my dog isn't feeling well. Oh, yeah. His name is Jack, and he has been going through some stuff, and I won't get into the nitty-gritty details because that's a little too much for a dog, but yeah, but hopefully, his surgery is Monday, so hopefully, come Monday, he starts to feel better a couple weeks after that. Because the doctor was saying that it would take a couple weeks for him to start feeling like a real change, and so I really hope that that works for him. And it just I hate seeing him in pain, like it really just makes me sad, you know. And I was saying this before, like, I never thought I'd feel so much for a dog. But when you bring a dog into your home and uh he or she becomes part of your everyday life, like they're literally like your children, like your pets are literally like your children, and I ain't got no kids except for Jack. And so he is like my little baby, and I just don't want him to be hurting, and it makes me feel helpless sometimes that I can't do more for him, and so that's really what makes me sad. But I'm grateful for the chance to be able to provide or not provide, but take him to someone who can provide more care and having the resources to be able to do that because that is huge. Like, yeah, I'm just so grateful to the point where it's like I was getting stressed about the financial part, but then I was like, I don't really care about the financials anymore. Like, I just want him to feel better, like I don't even care how much this is gonna cost. I mean, I care to an extent. Let me there is a limit, there is a limit, okay? But I won't be too pressed about it because if it were me, I would spend the money. If it were my man, if it was my mom, if it was my dad, if it was my family, I would spend the money. No problem. He's my family, so yeah, I'm not too stressed about it anymore. I just want him to feel better. I want the little guy to be happy. Yeah, yeah. So those are my highs and lows, and hopefully, my low will turn into a high pretty soon. Yeah, same for you. Thank you, girl. Mm-hmm. Yeah, awesome. Well, onward and upward right. So, moving on to our next segment, which will be Black Business of the Week, which last week we introduced this segment as you know, highlighting a black business around Atlanta, which we truly feel Atlanta is the Black Mecca. So there's so many businesses. And actually, before we even get into the Black business of the week, we should let you know that we do have a form. So if you have a black business that you would like to spotlight, if you are the black business, please submit that um spotlight request form, which is in our description below. We would love to be able to feature uh any of the cool businesses that we see on the podcast because we think it's like a wonderful opportunity and a platform to get more voices, creatives, platforms, people out there. So absolutely, you know, drop that in the description and we'll be happy to potentially feature you. Absolutely, but yeah, I'm excited to get into this week's black owned business. So this week we'll be spotlighting the vibrary, and um we went to the vibrary at this point, girl, it's gotta be a year ago, over a year ago, over a year ago, February of 2025, I think. Yeah, maybe I don't remember it was like even cold outside. Yeah, it was cold. So um a call minute ago, but it's really stuck with us because it was just such a unique spot. So the vibrary is located in Stone Mountain, Georgia. Um, it's a fusion of a library and like a wine bar, yeah. So only wine, by the way. Only wine, which is a great pairing, yeah. Honestly, a phenomenal pairing and such a great business model, like in general, there should be more of those exactly. But um, yeah, we I how did we find it? TikTok, maybe? I think one of your friends had gone before, you think? Yeah, and she sent it to you, and you were like, I want to try this place out. And I went to like their Instagram and I was like, Well, haven't we been already? Yeah, it's it's right up our lane. We both love to read and we both love a good glass of wine. Um, but it was founded or started, created by Candace Walker. Um, Candace Walker was originally born in Flint, Michigan, but she moved to Georgia and now calls Stone Mountain home. Uh, moved to Georgia in junior high. And she also loves books and wine. So it's just kind of like a perfect fusion and a really unique spin on retail and entertainment. And I feel like I got some really good like finds in there. I think I walked away with like a like maybe one or two books. Yeah, yeah. Because you can buy books there, you can buy the books in there too. You could just sit like a library and read. You could bring your own laptop, work from home moment. Yeah. Um, it's a lot of different things. It was, yeah, and they do events too. They do events. There was an event, I think, happening the same day that we were going. Yeah, but it had just ended, I think. Because we were there pretty late. Actually, it might not have been that late. It's just because daylight savings, it feels because it was dark outside. It's so, so, so dark. Yeah, it was mind you, it was probably like 5 p.m., 6 p.m. It took a minute for us to get there though. Yeah, so it actually wasn't that late because we were driving through rush hour traffic. So that's yeah, I think it was about to start by the time we were leaving. Makes sense. But yeah, really, really cool spot. The vibe in there is amazing. Not to do a pun on the vibrary, but perfectly named. And um one thing that I found really, really cool, and I don't think I knew this when we went, but um, portions of the proceeds that the vibrary earned are donated to the Ann Key Memorial Foundation, and it's a nonprofit in memory of her mom. Um, and all of the money goes to, I want to make sure I get this correct, provides college scholarships to local high school seniors. Yes. So shout out to Candace Walker, shout out to the vibrary, we have to go back. Yeah, we do. Um, because it was such a such a cute vibe. Yeah. Um, oh my gosh, it'd be so cool if we did like an event there. Yeah, like a let me walk you out event. Yeah, oh my gosh, guys, that would that would be so tea. Let's get supplying, right? Candace, let us know exactly. Let us know because we do love some wine, we do, and we love the vibes, and I do love a good book, yeah, obviously. Right, right. So, yeah, awesome. Well, thanks, Candace, for providing such a space. Um, because it didn't just feel like a space to just read, it felt like a space for community as well, and that was really special. And I also think that where it's located feels really special too. Yeah, that was one of the things that I think she even said with creating the vibrary was that it was about community and bringing people together who have that passion for books and and wine or just anything, just breezing in. So yeah, I agree. Beautiful, beautiful spot. All right, well, yeah, let's get into our topic of the week. Topic of the week. So this week's topic is going to be five things that have led us to where we are today. And so we're just gonna kind of go through kind of we talked last episode about what we do now, but more in depth about why we got there, how we got there, and what were the tidbits that stood out that helped us to get there. So, do you want to lead us? Sure. So, where I am now, to a little bit debrief of last week's episode and to kind of go a little bit further into that because it was very brief what we we our description was very brief, very high level, for lack of a better word. Right, it will never never escape us. But so right now I work full-time as a pretty much a paid social media specialist to help with sponsored, boosted kind of ad posts. But outside of that, from five to nine, I do have my own business, so I have my own social media marketing agency pretty much, which is where I help different clients manage their social media channels. On top of all of that, not on top, but in addition to all of that, I also have my own personal brand, which is Stefanina. And if you are watching me because um, or if you've seen my vlogs, you know I love to vlog, so I uh love content creation and things of that nature. Look at me smiling already. Yeah, girl, you lighting up, yeah. Like that's my passion, yeah. Bingo, we got no bingo for real. So I literally love to vlog, it's like really actually one of my passions every time that I do a trip, anything like that. So I do travel lifestyle and personal development content, and I post those vlogs on YouTube. So my channel will probably be linked in the description. Honestly, I might even do a collaboration with my channel just so that more people can, you know, get access to Let Me Walk You Out. But I love it, and I've built a community there around people who love to travel, around like-minded, personal development-oriented people as well. So I just am so grateful for that community. Yeah, that's what I do at a high level. Um, that's everything that I do, you know, on top of trying to manage everyday life, work out, yeah, get fit, look good, right, eat right. Oh, bliss goes on every day. 10 cases up today, two to three meals, you know, trying not to lose my mind, reading, meditating. Oh my gosh, there's so much. But right, we'll get into that. We'll get into that. Where are you, my friend? Well, girl, I just want to say I love when you talk about what you do because I feel like it's just so cohesive. It's like they're all different things, but it all just speaks to what you, you know, yeah, really love doing. And it's like I like when someone has found their passion and really lives in it. So thank you. It was like, you know, it wasn't corny that you were grinning. It was like, that's a beautiful thing to have found. Oh my gosh, like now I'm smiling at my work. Like, like, right, I'm like so proud. Um, but yeah, in terms of me, I like I said, you know, last episode, I work in sales marketing for an ad tech company, and honestly, it's kind of weird how it happened. So I have always known that I wanted to work somewhere in communications, and like I can talk about this, but when I was in high school, I was the editor-in-chief of our magazine, and that was the first time where I was like, wow, like this could be a whole career. I really enjoy this, and I think what I enjoyed about it was writing. I love to write, I love to read, I love to inform, to be educated, to connect with people. Like, I was super shy in high school, and I feel like being in that role got me to connect with so many different people, just on the premise of like can I interview for a magazine? Like, you know, here I go with my glasses. I actually did wear glasses, like pushing them up and talking, but yeah, it was just cool. So when I got to college, I originally was a journalism major, and you know, just changes and and you know, you're exploring different things. And I also realized there's a part of my brain that really loves business, and it's satisfying. Like it's I don't know, it just speaks to the two different sides of my brain. I feel like one side is the creative part, and then the other side is the the structure, and that's where we are. A lot in common with like I love a good calendar, I love a good meeting, I love to talk business with somebody, like how are we gonna get it done? Yeah, because I think that the end result of a deal or you reaching KPIs or you're hitting like revenue marks, I find all of that very, very satisfying as well. So um, I started to just kind of explore other routes, like maybe advertising, maybe marketing. I explored PR. And when I was in college, I had internships in pretty much like all of those fields, and some of them I was like amazing, and others of them I was like, mm-hmm, not so much. So it was just a process of elimination, but all that to say, it all kind of came back to this one internship I had in account management that taught me about client services and that side of the business, which is basically running like paid campaigns and the person that's doing it day in, day out. So I ended up interning where I work now in their client services department. And when I graduated from school looking for a job, spent like basically a year looking for a job. I feel like everybody in the job market can relate to that. Yeah. Um, but I ended up back at the same company where I interned, but this time in a different role, which is sales marketing, which I think is so perfect. I try to make sure my life is very fulfilling because I don't really live to work. Like, I want to make sure I make the work live for me, if that makes sense. Like I want to my job be the vessel to which I can explore everything the world has to offer. Um, but there's, you know, been a lot of lessons I've learned along the way, and I guess we'll get into that. And I feel like that kind of segues perfectly into one of my lessons that I feel like I've learned along the way, which is staying anchored in what naturally interests me. Um and letting that be your guide and letting that be your teacher, and not being afraid to pivot. I feel like that's don't be scared of the pivot, y'all. Don't be afraid of the pivot. I think that's those two kind of go hand in hand for me because when I look at the entire evolution of how I've gotten here, it really was just me thinking, hmm, I'm interested in this, I want to try it, so let me do it. Oh, I actually didn't like it. Let me let me try something else. And I'm not gonna say it was as easy as that because when I didn't know, like, for example, when I was switching from journalism to something else, I didn't know what something else was. And I don't like to not have things figured out. Yeah. And we were also, this was during COVID, so I was just at home in my bedroom on Zoom University. I would close that computer and I had nowhere to go. Zoom university, nothing to do. Girl, I was just sitting in my room, like, I'm still stuck in this major, then I don't even think I want to do this for real. Like now what? So I'm not gonna say it was that easy, but I think just yeah, getting used to the change and pivoting. Because if I let's say I was just too scared, I would still be probably pursuing a career in journalism. Like maybe I'd be a TV anchor, which is what I thought I wanted to do. Yeah, still a very cool job, but I would be there just out of pure, like, I was too scared to move around. And especially if you're in college, like for, you know. That's the time. I'm not sure why that version of me felt like, oh, I had to have it figured out when quite literally there were so many people's majors that were undecided. Like, that's what you're supposed to do. But even now, like I try to tell myself, even now, if you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. Yeah, so like I'm very happy in my role now, but the moment that I'm not feeling it, I'm not gonna ignore that feeling and I'm gonna audit and be like, all right, what is it exactly? Is it my team? Is it the actual work? Because it'll tell you a lot. It'll tell you maybe you just need to work in a different environment and do the same thing, or maybe you really love these people, so that's not it, but you just need to be doing something different, like just listen to yourself. And I think that that's that's been very helpful for me over the course of like literally since I, you know, started my career or like started my educational career. Yeah, I feel like your point segues so perfectly into mine. Mind you guys, we didn't sit down and write this together, like we just wrote it separately, and then we came together to film, yeah. And all of our points are like, well, I can't say all, but the first one at least is like, dang, girl, you stole the words right out of my mouth. So literally the point that's why we're doing it. Exactly, exactly. And mine has to be about leveraging your creative skill set, and I feel like that really piggybacks off of her point because uh she figured out something that she had a natural interest in, and she just kept following that interest. And for mine, it was my creative skill set, it was the fact that I was naturally interested in video editing and production and things of that nature, and I still think there might be some time in the future where I just dive more into film, you know, and that's just something that interests me. But I've also also had a passion for helping people find their voices, really, and helping people feel seen, and I think that that's the main thing, and it's blending helping others to feel seen and find their voices with my creative skill set of video editing and social media and just being creative on that realm, and it just blended so perfectly into what I do now. And honestly, I didn't think that what I 10 years ago you you could have told me I would be doing what I'm doing right now, truly honestly, not even five years ago, not even two, you know what I'm saying? So it really is something that has just aligned so perfectly and it makes so much sense for me. And the more that I understood, like find a skill and hone in on that skill, the more that I understood why people would say that. Like, I used to listen to like so much personal development and stuff like that, and um podcasts, and they'd be like, they'd always say, You need to find a skill, whether that's running ads, whether that's you know, video editing, whether that is building brands, like you need to find a skill, and then get that skill to a point where you can market it to other people. And my skill was something that I just naturally enjoyed doing, and that was video editing. And honestly, my mom put me onto that really because of an RCA project, actually, because I was doing kind of poorly in Mr. Clark's class, growing awkward, okay. And he was like, Okay, if you do this, you can get extra credit. And I told my mom, and we basically did this project where funny that you say you wanted to be a news anchor for the project. I was basically a news anchor, and we filmed at different parts of the little town that we lived in, the little city that we lived in, and um, I was reporting on different things that were going on around the city, and I sat with her and we edited it together. Like, on I can't even remember the name, it was like movie maker or something. We had a windows, and so that was like the first ever thing ever thing that I've edited with my mom. And after that, I was like, Oh my gosh, this is kind of cool! Like, I love this, and the end project was so nice. I was like, wow, I love that we did that, and that was baby making of Stefan Stefanina. There we go. Honestly, and then honestly, um, I was gonna say where Nina comes from. I mean, Nina is my middle name, but Nina's also my mom's. I was thinking that too. Yeah, I was like, I mean, yeah, and then it's literally Nina who led you exactly to that direction. Become Stefanina, yeah. That's poetic. Very wow, I love that. So, yeah, leverage your creative skill set. If you have something that you're really good at, you need to you don't need to do anything, but we encourage you to use that to your ability, like help that have that be your guide or your anchor into figuring out what that next thing is. Yeah, and I think for me, when I was trying to pivot and do different things with my jobs, and what I was at spaces where I didn't like, I did do those audits, and I realized, okay, what is it about my my job that I don't like? And I find it funny because one of my friends is like, Stuff, if you don't like a job, you're quick to leave. Yes, yes, I'm quick to leave. There's no time to waste. Yeah, why would I why would I spend all day around, you know? Yeah, it's you take you take in the data right and you move on. I've analyzed, and now I'm making my future projections and leaving this behind, okay? So yeah, I think that in my pivot, I realized I'm really good at editing, I'm really good at building a brand, and I've successfully built my own community. I can do this for other people, and then it also got to a point where people were just asking me to do it for them. Yeah, and I was like, Why are you asking me? You know, you could ask other people, then I was like, No, of course they're asking you, they've seen you do it yourself, yeah. So do it and it's money. Hello, the heck, don't turn down a dollar now, not right now, not right now, not right now. It'd be any other time, but then we gas prices, but we are not turning down money. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I'm not turning down a dollar right now. I mean, I have limits. I have limits, but you know, yeah, let's switch. Yeah, no, but I feel you though, and you know, and even if you don't know what it is your skill is, because I feel like you know, we've both spoken or we've spoken about knowing, like, oh, there was this moment where I, you know, it clicked. If it hasn't clicked for you, just start doing stuff. Yes, try everything, anything, and something is gonna click. Like, you don't have to have this like grand story, literally just up and start doing stuff, but you get stuck when you get stuck, when you're just not trying new things. If you feel like lately I haven't really got out my comfort zone, like that's a bad sign. Yeah, that's what I always tell myself is like if I feel way too comfortable, maybe I haven't been pushing myself enough. Yeah, um, but also to the point of because this leads into my next point. Literally point number two for me that I wrote down. But um, what's been pivotal for me is community, relationships, but also being resourceful. I feel like I keep doing this for I'm like, it's this, but it's also that. But they I married the ideas because, like you said, I feel like some of my the reasons why I know who I want to be and what I want to do is because of the community around me. So whether that be my parents, because my parents very much poured into everything that I wanted to do. Shout out to them, though. Shout out to my parents, Andre and Tim. Loved them, loved them down. Like, oh my gosh, the smile on my face, like, like they really did their big thing. They were my second parents, really. But um, not even just like family, but just the community around you, like your school community, yeah, the community at your job, the community with your peers and whatever stage of life you're in. That's been incredible because sometimes people will just put you onto an opportunity that you wouldn't necessarily seen already, um, that you wouldn't have been aware of, or they can just be there to listen to you when you just need something like, hey, this is what's going on at work, or like, you know, mentorship and stuff like that. This is what's going on at work, this is what's going on in my life. You need people to be able to, you know, yeah, to bounce ideas off of. But also, I said being resourceful because, and this is a pet peeve of mine, when people just expect things because they know you, or like you expect people to just hand things to you just because you're here. Like, I feel like, yes, we are on earth and we deserve all of these beautiful things because we do, like, we don't have to, you're not supposed to have to work for basic things, yeah. But there's also just not not never a sense of entitlement, or never a sense of like, I can't be resourceful. So I wrote down being resourceful, and I think it speaks to what you were saying, is like actively seeking out these things. Like, some of these things, it wasn't because I knew somebody and they gave it to me. It's because I was up scrolling through uh a job search, or I was looking for opportunities for women in marketing and yeah, organizations for women in marketing. Oh, they got a meetup next week. I'm gonna go to this meetup. I'm scared, I'm by myself, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Like, do it anyway. Um, and I'm gonna meet somebody if I met one person, then I'm happy. Then that's great. Um, and I feel like even going back to like middle school, I think that's what really taught me how to be resourceful. Like you had to find the answers, like even down to somebody asking you something that they could easily Google. I feel two ways about that because in one way it's the human connection of like talking, but sometimes people really ask you stuff like almost asking you to do the entire assignment for them. I feel like that's where you have to be like, no, I I I'm able to do this myself. I can pick up a book, I can open up the internet and do my own research. So I think that that's been very, very helpful for me because it's made me be a very self-sufficient woman that feels confident that if I want something, I know how to go out there and get it. And then I also still tap into the community that I built along the way is I know I can reach out to people around me, but I've already done the research myself too. I'm showing up with the plan. Yeah, a hundred percent. And my next point has to do a little bit with on my journey embracing entrepreneurship and being okay with kind of having to go solo dolo, you know, like understanding. I've always had a knack for entrepreneurship. I feel like in my life I've always taken on leadership positions. I've always, I don't want to say wanted to be in charge, but I have always just been the person that people go to almost when okay, she's about to hit the fan. We need your help, we need a plan. And they come to me, you know. So I've you know realized that early on, down from like high school, I always wanted to be an SGA. Like I was every year, I was I was it's not auditioning. What is it? I was running. Yeah, I was running, like I had to do a campaign. Like they were doing it like actual, like government elections. I had to do a campaign. Yeah, oh, and and you if you've ever been through like that cycle, you know how serious it gets. It gets serious, it gets so serious, it gets really serious. Every letter means something serious. Well, oh my gosh, I wish I could remember some of my slogans. Um, they were so fun. I think you made a video too. I made a video for SGA executive president when I did student body president. I made a video, it was Wonder Wooden Wonder Woman themed, and it was like, if you're wondering who to vote for, vote for Stephanie Woods. I remember that. I still have that video, and I look at it sometimes, and I'm like, this was so shout out to the people who were in the video though, they were really like helping me with my campaign. And for SGA president, like they had they were like, Okay, yeah, at this point you can have a campaign team, and so I rallied, I rallied all the girls I could because it was all girls' school, so literally all the girls I could, and I just did something different, and I did something that stood out, and I think that's what really helped me because honestly, I did look different, and I mean it was a PWI. Why would all these girls who don't look like you want to vote for you and trust you to run their school? I mean, it's not their school, but you know, so I had to do something different, I had to be different in a good way, and so I'm glad that I did make those decisions. But that is a key point of embracing entrepreneurship because entrepreneurship is inherently different. The safe route, quote unquote, is you go to school, you get a good job, you stay with that job, you get your benefits, and you move up in that company, then you retire and boom. But though, yes, I am working a nine to five, I also do value having something going for myself on top of that as well. I'm also an Aries. I never said that in my bio about who I was. Well, that's important. You said that you were a Libra. I never said that I was an Aries, it's important, and it's also important because it's like we're sister signs of like we should have definitely mentioned that. Oh, sorry, it's important for your personality for sure, for sure, and uh, you know, Aries have really powerful fire boss energy to them, and it's not to a point where I feel like I need to be running something, but I do need to be running something, and once you know yourself to a point where it's like, okay, that's not a part of you that you can deny, then you just know and you move accordingly. And I think entrepreneurship can be very scary for a lot of people, especially because at the end of the day, there is a lot of holes, you know, like you don't have stable income. A client could drop you like that, and now you're back down to square one and you have to regroup and figure it out, you know. But I mean, also if we're speaking corporate and want to compare it, you could get laid off tomorrow and have to figure it out just like that. So it's really just about choosing your hard. And for me, my hard was embracing entrepreneurship because that is just inherently part of who I am, and that's not something that I can deny in myself much longer to a point where it's like I want to hide that part of me for the sake of a job for quote unquote security. Because though I do value that security and I'm very happy that I've built that part of my life, I think there are other parts of my life that need to be built out as well, and that comes from entrepreneurship and starting that journey, so yeah, and I feel like we can uh we have to dedicate a whole episode to talking about entrepreneurship and if you know it's right for you, or if you know it's not right for you, because it really does depend on like your personality type. Oh, I could tell you stories on stories on stories about how I was reminded time and time again that I need to do my own thing. Um, this might be our first actual pivot. I was really trying to get it into that perfectly segment. Right, but we did it like twice, so I think we can we can like be okay with that. But I would say letting go of perfectionism. And that's been a hard one, and I have not mastered it, but I think you know, we've both spoken at this point a little bit about our backgrounds, the schools we went to, the environments that we were in. It just makes a lot of sense that that then made us become very high-performing people, and um we just care a lot about the things that we put out. Yeah, like I'm sure in girl work you care a lot. And in my job, I care a lot. And sometimes you can just get stuck in the everything needs to be perfect. Um I'm trying to think of an example. Starting my nine to five, I'm the type of person that I've always just kind of known like nine to five me. Like, I really do want to just wake up, wake up, open the laptop, do what I gotta do, close the computer, and that's somebody else's company. If it goes under tomorrow, I'll just jump ship to the next. Like, I've never really thought of myself as having my own business because genuinely I don't want to work that hard. Like, I don't know how to make it sound better, but you know, your heart has to really be in it. Yeah, and I was just like, I don't know, I'd like to be able to have that severance between my job and my life, and I don't want the two to kind of cross. But I didn't know what I know now. Like now, starting my job, there is a part of me that feels like, oh my god, I feel like I could do more. Like, I feel like I'm learning a lot, and how else can I apply it? And I'm just seeing so much of this newness in the world, new energy. Um, the marketing industry has changed so much, the advertising industry has changed so much, and I feel like oh my god, girl, that's a whole nother sorry, but there's just so much that I feel like I have to offer, and I just kind of don't think that I'm done yet. And so with the business, and then there's other pursuits. Like, I feel like you know, I've always wanted to be an author. There's so many pursuits that I have that get stuck right there. Like me saying I want to be an author, but then thinking about having a published book, I'm like, oh gosh, like I'm gonna have to go through so many rounds of a horrible draft. It's gonna get horrible, less horrible, good, maybe good, great. Like, there's so much, but I want the first the first thing to be it. That's perfectionism. I want the first time I do it to be like, bow. With this, like you know, it now it's flying off the shelves at Barnes and Noble. Like that if that had a way. Winning one of those like um buttons where like certain sounds just keep we just press it and it's like bow. Bow. That's our first one. Bow. Another one's gonna end up being ooh we actually ooh wee. Ooh, we owe it. Um, but yeah, so even with like okay, maybe I could like leverage my services outside of my nine to five, but then I'm way too into the details. It's like, oh, what am I gonna name it? Oh, wait, what am I gonna offer? Okay, wait, what instead of just kind of like doing it and then just optimizing along the way, and I'm finally getting to a point where I'm like, I actually don't care, we're just gonna execute this and whatever, however, it turns out, it turns out. But that's taking a long time to get there. And I'm grateful for something, even like this podcast, because even doing the first episode, like a lot of stuff was not figured out, like behind the scenes, and it probably might show a little bit, but behind the scenes, like we're figuring out a lot. But I would much rather figure it out than to be stuck in this planning stage and the well, everything has to be perfect, and we have to have this amazing setup with the crew and the because you'll never that's that's not how it works. Because even when you get the crew, there's still gonna be something that you can. There's gonna be something, you know. But nobody jumps off the porch and immediately has a podcast crew ready to. To do it, you build that by struggling through it. Like the most famous, successful people in any industry have moments where they looked awkward, where they didn't know what they were doing, but they had the guts to just struggle through it. And so I think, and hopefully, over the course of this season of the podcast, like it will show through with week after week, the more that I update you all, that I'm really trying and hopefully will inspire others or just make others feel like just do it. Yeah, you know, like let go of the perfectionism aspect because everything doesn't have to be perfect, and that's not how life works, you know. But my therapist and I are working through that. I love it. Let's talk about the fact that my license is not renewed. And uh, I mean it's renewed, it's it's it's just I don't have a real idea yet. And I keep waiting for the perfect hairstyle, I keep waiting for my lashes and my brows to be done, I keep waiting for my face to be beat in order for me to go and get this license renewed. Now, if I waited for all of those things to be ready, girl, I would never have the license renewed. We'd be here. Girl, I would be in 2027 with. Wouldn't you be in jail? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would be like, isn't that illegal? Yeah, to have an expired license and to be driving with that thing. Yeah. So can't have that. Exactly. Can't have it because I would be in jail. It would be illegal, you know? That's perfectionism should be illegal. Like in case important. I like that. See what I did. Put it on a t-shirt. I like that. Oh my gosh, for real, put it on the t-shirt. Girl, confections are where it should be illegal. Yeah, because it should be though. I think that the next habit that has shaped my journey and helped me to get to where I'm at today is creating consistency, period. And that's consistency within my personal routine, consistency within my work routine, and consistency across all facets and areas of life, to be honest. And the first one that I will talk about is um staying consistent and adaptive to life and work, especially, because I do balance a lot of roles, and a lot of times we do I do need to pivot. I do need to. I was, you know, I I come in to do content and I have this whole plan, and then they're like, actually, we want to do X, Y, and Z instead. Okay, cool. I can't be upset, it's not my business, you know. I mean, it is my business, but it's not my business to determine what they want to put out on their page. So I do need to be adaptive in that point, but I do need to show up. I do need to remain consistent in my efforts of editing and making sure that the production is still high quality just because it's not something I wanted to do. But at the end of the day, I don't want my video ideas to be the only video ideas they do, you know. So there's that consistency, consistency in my work, making sure that I'm showing up and I'm you know putting out good quality content across all the brands that I work for, even for my nine to five. Like, I want to make sure that that is to a level and a caliber that they that creates so much value that there's a lot of value lost in losing you. Going into being important in every area of your life is also taking care of yourself, and for me, that was creating consistency in my personal and wellness routines, and so that was like consistency with therapy, consistency with reading, consistency with going to the gym, consistency with doing habits and we're not habits, but finding little what do we call those when you're trying to like decompress and like you crochet? That's not a habit, that's a hobby. Yes, I'm not being very helpful, I'm like confused with you. Yes, a hobby. It's starting to age though, so yes, so finding consistency and like finding hobbies, you know. So finding that consistency across all areas of life and really learning how to show up for myself is what really changed the game for me. And like I was saying, like consistency was so hard for me. I think there's a YouTube video that I put up, it was the vision board video from the end of 2024, and I remember this very specifically because I filmed this video in my car. I don't usually change the scene too much, and so this one I went to my car, and I remember saying, my word for 2025 is consistency. In 2025, I started that um 75 hard challenge, yeah, but I did 75 soft because I'm a lady, okay? Soft life, and I feel like that's when I finally in my life established some sort of baseline of consistency, and that consistency was more so focused towards personal consistency within the gym, with reading, with my water intake, with my diet. But and I'm not even gonna say diet because I wasn't putting myself on a diet, I was just trying to establish better eating habits and practices, and I did, but at the end of the day, consistency really helped to shape my own inner dialogue and narrative as well, like that really truly helped me to think so much more highly of myself because it wasn't like I was starting something and then couldn't finish, yeah. And couldn't is very a loose word there because I could finish, I just didn't have the willpower or the want to. Yeah, and so when I did a challenge and when I made a declaration to the internet that consistency is my word this year, it felt like I had to follow through. And I just think that once you finally find a consistent practice or something that you can establish consistency in, whether that be a fitness routine, whether that be you reading every day, you journaling every night, whatever that is for you, you showing up to work actually at 9 a.m. every single time you have to go to work, you know? Not you out of yourself. No, I was just having empathy for the other people who haven't gotten it together. Seriously, though, because Atlanta traffic is bad, right? Like yeah, but seriously, and they say, like, when you keep your promises to yourself, yes, that's when you really start to form a relationship with yourself of like respecting and trusting that when you say that you're gonna do something, you do it. Yeah, and you know, so if you feel like you still struggling with getting that part together, I think that's the foundation to where a lot of other things like you can't just jump to trying to get to the end goal if it's like just the little things, like it doesn't have to be something major, like it doesn't have to be okay, five days out of the gym, uh out of the week gym. No, not like let's make it attainable. But literally, like if you say you're gonna get up and brush your teeth, yeah, and you've been feeling lazy and you've just been rolling around in the bed, get up and brush your teeth, and that's a promise that was made to yourself, like count everything because that does help to build a relationship with yourself. Yeah, I a hundred percent agree, and you do need to start small, yeah. And that does actually perfectly segue well into my fourth point, but it was just creating routines that keep me grounded, so I feel like you really touched on it. Um, but I'm such a routines girly, as I think I've said before, and I think honestly, everyone is to a certain extent, like even people who are very, very type B, I think there's some sense of like stability that everyone wants to have, even if your life is more of like sporadic and you're you're just doing anything. But yeah, figuring out what that looks like for you, and you don't have to be in a rush to figure it out because I've definitely crafted my self-care routine from trial and error over like the course of years, and I'm still building it, but it always just I know what I can return to. I know when life gets crazy, it might be crazy this week, but I know when I get more time, I know how to make myself happy. Like I know that if I go to bed, take my warm shower, and I light my candle, and I get a good book, and I put that phone down, put that phone down, put that phone down, put them time limits on them apps, put them time limits and make do not disturb go on automatically at 10 p.m. Yeah, and come off at 10 30 a.m. Yeah, like and like actually hold yourself to it because you know it's really easy to bypass, and like I'm the perfect person to ask about bypassing every time 15 more minutes, yes. Maybe on like a Friday, Saturday, maybe even Sunday, I'd be bypassing a lot. Yeah, because why am I on here for only 15 minutes? Yeah, you know, it's like all right, just actually not annoyed for the whole day, but yeah, just you know, always knowing that you have a routine that makes you feel grounded in yourself, and it literally does not have to look like ours. I think ours looks very similar, and it's very good, it's because we're like very similar people, yeah. But there's somebody else's routine that is like bump that. I'm not trying to journal, girl. I don't care, but it's something else. Like maybe you love to rock out on your guitar, like I don't know. So that could be therapy, yeah. It's literally whatever you make it, but make it something that way you're being intentional about the time that you spend with yourself and the routines that you have in your life because the day-by-day routines turn into the kind of life that you want to live. Yeah, a hundred percent. For me, the next one would have to be personal development and learning, and I think this really triggered for me after I graduated. I think postgrad was really, really rough because you go into the world and you graduate having all these expectations. I have a degree, they're gonna hire me, I'm gonna make X amount of money, and I'm gonna be Uber successful and rich, and I'm gonna work at this company, and then two months later, when you can't find a job, you like, okay, but I gotta rethink this. It's not quite what y'all told me. Exactly. Okay, what did I just pay for? Yeah, let me know something, seriously. But I think that was I think my senior year of college was when I really started getting into personal development and also mental health and wellness, like that is really where the that all started because senior year was I feel like kind of rough for me because I had so much on my plate. I was taking like a child, I can't even remember like 20 something. What's the normal amount of credit hours that you should have? I'm trying to remember because it was like three credits per class, and you would be in like five, four to five classes, so maybe the norm was around 15. I was doing like 20 something credit hours, yeah. Then also working at my internship part-time, 30 hours a week, and that was a really demanding internship too. Like, you know how sometimes at a job, like you could slip away for a second and it's not a big deal. Like, I couldn't slip away, like I needed to be at my desk at all times because I also had like a manager that kind of felt like a micromanager almost, like always checking in, trying to see updates on stuff, and it's not like you know, if that's your management style, cool. And you know, she always got what she needed. Like, I was never not doing my job, but it almost felt like I was like under a microscope, and that's a lot for an intern too, and it's a lot for an intern, and there were so many, and on top of that, I had just crossed too, so I was just really getting into Greek life, and that comes with a whole different set of challenges inherently in itself. Yeah, it was just so much, and it got to a point where I wasn't really just taking I wasn't taking care of myself for real, and I finally had made that decision to start going to therapy, and I think that was really what triggered a lot of events after that. Good events, of course, but you know, it was all so timely. And I remember my first therapist, she actually had to leave the company that she was at because of insurance or something, and she transitioned to somewhere else, and I couldn't take her anymore, but it was right when I was graduating, so I was like, okay, this kind of feels timely. Yeah, it feels like this was an era, and I appreciate you for everything you did. Now I gotta move on to the next one and keep it going, and that really just helped me to start reading. I started reading a lot more. I started actually journaling at night, you know, everything that I was going through throughout the day, or things that frustrated me. And that's also my senior year starting my spring semester. So this spring I graduated was when I was like, okay, now I'm gonna start getting in the gym. That's when I started going to the gym, that's when I got my first bit. Actually, it was not my first one. My parents got me one and then the watch face like fell off randomly on a trip. Oh no. Yeah, I like literally looked down and the face was gone. I was like, I just looked at the tie five minutes ago. And so I didn't have it for a while, but then I got another one. And so, yeah, I feel like that started a lot of personal development because I just needed to. It was to a point where I needed to grow, I needed to develop, I needed to progress. And I started reading a lot, especially once I got to postgrad and I had so much more time. I started reading more. I remember one of the first books that I read was The Mountain is You by Brianna Weiss. Amazing book. You should definitely read it if you haven't already. It was a book about overcoming self-sabotage and limiting beliefs and things like that. And that's exactly what I needed to read at the time that I graduated because I had so many limiting beliefs because I wasn't finding a job, I wasn't finding employment. I was like, okay, so I'm clearly not good enough for X, Y, and Z. And after that, it was Atomic Habits, and then that's a classic pivotal book, and I still preach about that book to this day. You will find that on my YouTube channel, and just personal development, and then it got to it kept going and it kept going, and it got into podcasts. Then when I started going into an office, when I finally found work and I started going into an office, I started listening to podcasts. It started with like the mindset mentor, then Mel Robbins, and then I found the she's so lucky podcast. And I feel like that's when things really started to like we first of all pause there. We are she's so lucky fans, yeah. Actually, fans down. We love she's so lucky, like literally every week, every week at Tuesday, and if I don't see it on Tuesday, best believe the next Tuesday, if I don't if I don't have it before then, I'm happy because I have a double feature now. Like I get to listen for two hours straight, it feels like, and it just is so amazing because that was a podcast that really helped me see that there is room for me because it was a black woman really only bringing on other black women to speak, and I remember the episode that she did with Jazz Turner, the very first one that she did with Jazz Turner, because I think she did a live show with Jazz Turner before when um she was in New York, she does live shows, which I really want to do, go to a live show, but it's never in my city. Come to Atlanta, please, anyway. But yeah, when she did that one with Jazz Turner, I felt like a shift in my brain. Like, I literally still remember being on the interstate, I was merging on an I-20 on my way back to Devil. I think I was in Douglasville at that point, and I just remember being like, There's so much about my life that I want to change, but I feel like this episode really gave me a guide on how to do it. And from that point on, I was literally hooked. Podcast week after week, and it wasn't to a point where it's like I'm addicted to making myself better because like I am in a way, but not in a negative way, but I just always had that natural knack for just I want to learn more, like what else can you teach me? And when you have that natural curiosity to learn, that natural curiosity to develop and to just get better, there's so many places you could go, yeah, because neuroplasticity is real, you know. If you graduate high school and you just stop learning after that, your brain is stuck, it's literally just there. But if you graduate and you keep learning and you keep going and you keep seeking new knowledge, your brain will literally change, and it will literally help you to get to where you want to go in life. And I just think that's so amazing. And I've always just been such a curious cat, like personal development and really leaning into making and bettering yourself, it changes you, and more so from a mental point of view, because before we were talking more so physical with like consistency and things like that, but I feel like this one is more mental because it is reading, reading is a mental game, you know, it is journaling, that's also a mental game. Therapy is a mental game, and when you get what's right up here, I feel like everything else starts to to show as well. Like, have you ever had a conversation with somebody who you can tell they've been doing work on themselves? Yeah, and they're literally glowing, yeah, their body has physically changed. You uh girl, you for sure, but yes, I know what you mean. But yeah, so thank you. Thank you. That's a that's a good point to end on. And um, from my point at least. My that was four. I think that was four. Okay, yeah, because I have one more, but we'll stop there for personal development and mental wellness. Lean into that for sure. Um, girl, I can totally feel you on post grad confusion. Oh my gosh. And I think I just depress- let's really call it what it is. It's not confusion, it's depression. Depression. Good. And confusion. We do be confused, but we do be sad too. My last and final point kind of has something to do with it, but it is stop learning how to stop comparing myself to others. And I think that that's been very hard. Like drawing post grad. That's all I have to say on that one. Like, I feel like that has been something that I think everybody does it to an extent, but there's certain periods of your time where it's manageable. So when I was in school, I feel like we were all kind of here. Yeah. All kind of doing the same thing. So somebody might have got something that I wanted, like a position, or got into a club, or got a better grade. But it was like, all right, sucks to suck, but I'll be okay. But something about being post-grad, and there really just kind of are no more guidelines, and you feel like you just kind of are like, you know, there's no more training wheels on it. You just kind of like, this is life now. Good luck. It was hard, and it still sometimes is very hard to not look around at what everyone else is doing and think, oh, maybe I should be here, maybe I should be there. And I can't even say this, like, I feel like everything that I've written is not something that I've mastered, like, I can't speak about it from the right side. Exactly. But it's just something that I've realized I'm gonna have to get better at because we just live in a society that wants you to constantly be looking around at what everyone else has going on. Like they have the keeping social Joneses, um, saying for a reason social media, like that's a big part of why I had to limit my screen time. Because I feel in a very vulnerable state. I'm trying to figure out what I got going on, and in this vulnerable state, why would I then be taking in these opinions of everyone else on the internet, seeing what everyone else has going on in their lives? There's times where opening up Instagram and LinkedIn and all that is so inspiring. And there's other times where I'm like, it's not what like get me out of here. I don't believe she got promoted again. I'm like, yo, and I'm still looking for it, John of Russell. Dang, who's filling her position? Yeah, like I it's just it can get nasty. Yeah, it can. I try not to judge myself for it because I think that feeling those types of emotions are very human. It is. So I give myself grace, but I also have to understand, like, then it's my choice to do with that information what I will. So putting it, setting up the boundaries, and really holding myself to that. Like, if I'm not gonna just endlessly doom scroll, then I'm not gonna do that, and then figuring out what I want to do because there's times where it don't matter what anyone else has going on, because I feel so clear in my lane that I'm fulfilled. And when I start looking around too much, that speaks to something that maybe I don't feel fulfilled in a certain aspect, and taking what is causing me to look around, really digging into that and figuring out the root of it, so that you can then change your reality because you're always in control, yeah. But trying to be somebody else, trying to compare yourself to others is where I feel like I got stuck, especially post-grad. So I'm glad that you said that, and that is why I wrote it down because I feel like I haven't really struggled with that as much as when I left school, yeah. And it can be embarrassing to admit, but I think that's why it's important to admit because a lot of people probably are struggling with that and just not really saying anything about it. Because how do you even say something like that? Right, you know? How do I tell you that I'm comparing myself to you and that I'm low, high key jealous of you? Not in like a malicious way, but it's just like, yeah, I have so many cool friends from so many places, all living very different lives. Yeah, and it's like I'm very happy for everyone, but also I'm trying to figure this out for myself and I feel confused and like we said, post-grad depression. So honestly, and I think that we need to lean into that too, especially as we get older. Like when you're younger, um, comparison is something you want to stay away from. When you get older and you start to learn a little bit more about what comparison and jealousy is actually teaching you, you lean into it. And the last point that I have that I personally feel like segues perfectly, once again, is you spoke on it before about. Supportive relationships, and so I won't touch too much about how it is so important to have a community behind you who believes in you and who wants the best for you, and I also want to talk about the fact that they believe in your vision, not the typical vision, you know, they're not forcing a narrative on you, they're supporting whatever narrative you choose. And on top of that, is that faith and that self-belief in yourself, and I think that you can have people who are supporting you who are rooting for you all day, but if you are not rooting for yourself and if you're not supporting yourself and you don't believe in yourself, none of that means anything. And I feel that in my own life and in my own journey, that I have changed my life way more when I actually believed in myself to do it than when other people were telling me they believed in me too. Oh my god, people can tell you all day long something, and until you believe it for yourself, yeah, it does not click. But that day it does click is crazy because you remember people telling you this. Yeah, even down to something as silly as like you're beautiful. If you really don't think it, yes, no, a hundred people can tell you that, and you're still gonna be like, well, but like uh no, and then the day you look in the mirror and be like and you really stand in it, you're like, I'm gorgeous as well. Well, yeah, as though a hundred people didn't already tell you that like feel you, yeah. Self-belief is so important, and I think self-belief comes with time most of the times, you know. Like I also think it comes with how you were raised, too, like what your child versus what you learn, and uh not to say that my parents didn't teach me self-belief or anything like that, I think they did a great job, they did everything that they could, and then some, and I'm very grateful for that. But I will say that I doubted myself a lot. Sometimes I still do doubt myself a lot, and so when I finally started realizing that I could do things, and I think confidence comes from data. I've said this before, but you don't think you can get in the gym four times out of the week until you get in the gym four times out of the week, and you're like, Oh, okay, I can do that, and then you don't think you can finish a book until you finish a book, and you're like, I'm a person that finishes books. Exactly. You change your identity, and now you believe in yourself to do it, and self-belief goes into everything behind starting businesses, working for other people, reading, working out, everything literally everything starts with self-belief and believing in yourself to do it and to stay committed to the vision. And that's why it is so important to have supportive people behind you, is because once you believe in yourself to do it, and you tell everybody else what you're about to do, they're gonna be like, All right, all right, Pookie. Right, I believe in you, baby girl, you got it, you know what I'm saying? So and then they're gonna check in on it. And then you're gonna check out what happened to, and you need that. You do need that, you need those markers, you need those people who are gonna hold you accountable, especially for the times where you try and shy away from holding yourself accountable because then it gets real awkward, and you're like, dang, I gotta confront the beast. Why haven't I been doing this? Like, but self-belief is so important, and I think I did like a Sunday reset video about this where I talked about the power of self-belief, and even when it came to like leaving my most recent job, I just didn't think I could do it, I didn't think I could find anywhere else that was gonna hire me. I didn't think I could make more money, and um that's when I started leaning into faith, which is the second portion of what I was talking about, and whether you believe whatever you believe in the God, the universe, the ethers, just leaning into that and knowing that it's going to carry you because I believe that if you are willing to jump, there will be a net that will appear to catch you, but you have to believe in yourself enough and have faith enough that the net will appear. And uh, when the net does appear, you need to lean into that too. You need to be grateful for the net that appeared, you need to be grateful for the opportunity presented and know that it can as just as easily as it was presented, it can be taken away. And so, staying in that state of gratitude and state of I can do this, I am worthy of this, this was granted to me for a reason. I am a person who deserves an opportunity like this, just really changes your whole narrative and it changes your life, honestly, and it's changed mine. And so, being able to lean into my faith and to start believing in myself more helped me make so many pivots, and now I'm a lot less afraid to say no to something because I know there's gonna be another opportunity around the corner that's even better and something that I want more. So that's that's the five things that have shaped our journey and led us to where we are now. So, last segment is what we want you to walk out with, and right do do do do do and walk out is like the closing segment, and what we really want to leave you with this episode, which honestly is just a part of my language again. Oh my lash, part of my language again, but uh a high level recap. Oh my goodness, high level. If you're of age, take a shot every time she says high level, high level recap. Let's get into this high level recap. Yes, you want the girl to wig of wine from the vibe actually. Go to the vibrary episode and every time you hear high level. I actually support that. A good sip of wine is better to take a shot, right? For real though. We don't do shots no more. Well, I mean on occasion. All right, we take my business. Anyway, going back to the point at hand. So, point number one: pour into yourself. Pour into yourself, start with yourself always anytime you have something that you want to achieve, something that you are striving for, start with yourself. And McGreed wasn't wrong. What she said, start with yourself, yeah. And that's what you really have to do. Second thing, lean into your strengths. We talked a lot about our strengths today, uh, as far as like our skill sets, and not even just our skill sets, but just who we are innately, like my curiosity, her knack for organization, her journalism, and my creativity and things like that. Like, lean into those strengths because that leads you down a path that is inherently meant for you at the end of the day. So the third thing is to build those systems to support whatever it is that you want to do. Well, wow, that's it. My friend episode two. That's that's a wrap on episode two. Where we're the cut thing at. Cut cut bye, right? But no, in all seriousness, um, catch us here next week. Um, and don't forget to follow, like, comment, subscribe, all the good things. Um, and we're so excited to be building this community with you all. Yes, 100%. And always remember if you do have a black-owned business that you'd like to spotlight, that is down in the description below, that request form. And also, if you have any advice, or or if you have any, if you've if you'd like any advice, or if you have any topics, submissions that you'd like us to cover, we have a let me help you out request form uh that is down in the description below, so that we can help out the girlies. But other than that, until next time. Until next time, love you. Bye. Bye.